Jesus Jokes

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz "

There are two kids sitting in a classroom Lily and john Lily sleeps in class everyday.The teacher asks lily who made heaven and earth john pokes her with a pencil she shouts JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY teacher says that's right the teacher says the next day she asks the same question john pokes her with a pencil she shouts JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY that's right the teacher says next day she asks lily what did Eve say to adam after their 100th john pokes her again IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME IMMA BREAK IT IN HALF she shouts.

What was jesus scared of the most? sNAILS

What do you call someone with a rubber toe?..... Roberto

Boy:*Scares girl* Girl:GOSH YOU SCARED ME, JESUS Jesus:*Arrives out of nowhere and said wut is it hooman I got work to do* Girl:What work? Jesus:Coming out of nowhere when people say "jesus"

Did Jesus die virgin? Nope he got nailed before he died.

Wanna hear a joke? :Jesus being real

What is the difference between jesus and the devil? When the devil came to earth he was the one with the nail gun.

What the difference between Jesus and Christmas tree lights?

They can both flash

DID JESUS DIE VIRGIN???

NO...HE HE GOT NAILED 😅

Y does Jesus hate skittles Because they fall threw his hands

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting nailed to the boards.

Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common? A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”

It took Jesus 3 days to respond

Worst lag ever

haha

When someone says Jesus. I say, Bitch, where

Lucifer is caged by Jesus, cuz he got tired of being alone on a pedestal.

If I tell you, "Jesus is the trickster." Am I, or is he?

Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even jesus is not a fucking cunt.

When did Jesus die

On luan day hahahahahahahahahahahahaha LOUD HOUSE wink wink