Jesus jokes
Why did Jesus not win any Stanley Cups? Because he was cut from the team because he kept being pinned to the boards.
Mary is hanging out, and the angel Gabriel descends behind her. She looks behind her and says, "Jesus Christ!" and the angel Gabriel said, "So you already know."
When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"
What is white, blue eyed, blonde haired and somehow was made in Galilee during the Roman occupation?
An Italian Renaissance painting that was carbon dated.
Jesus can’t judge gay people, because he got nailed before he died.
Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms?
They'll fall right through his hands.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
Where has God existed outside of a man's awareness of him?
What do Jesus and I have in common?
No one knows my real bday either.
You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"
Why can't Jesus walk on water anymore?
For the same reason a ship won't stay afloat with holes in the bottom.
Jesus is great because Jesus is good. Amen.
Ariana Grande
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
I'm gonna finally put a stop to the fucking drama. I saw people bullying other people for years; Gwen was not the only one. No longer will I put up with this. No longer will newcomers. For God's sake, just do jokes! Please! If you want to bully someone, do it in your family! You people don’t even know each other, but we're still going through this same fucking shit every fucking day! Just make jokes, people! That is why it’s called “Worst Jokes ever” not “Bully people forever.” So shut the hell up and get to joking! Jesus! The only reason why I came here was to spread jokes and kindness like Gwen and others, not to spread hate and foolishness from people who don’t even know better things to do but to hate on stupid strangers from different parts of the fucking world!!!
“Addison, fuck off already, you're only 10 years old. What do you know?” I might be 10, but during my time here, the tragedies and horror I've experienced on this website have shaped me into someone more mature, able to share this wisdom. And if you're gonna laugh at me, spit in the face of me and my generous teachings, you will fall. I swear to God, I will make you wish you could never feel pain. But that would hurt me more than you. Please, stop the drama. That's all I ask. Together, we can make this website great again, like it once was.
So you know those people that commit suicide by hanging themselves? I guess they lost Hangman.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was pegged.
Jesus got rejected. A few years later he died. He came back just to lose his virginity because even Jesus is not a fucking cunt.
Get off this site and go have some sex, you fucking virgins.
Have you seen my uncle?
Jesus: I have.
God: Me too.