Hey, 2nd Amendmenters! Wanna know what gun Jesus used during his time?
What?
A nail gun!
Jesus tried solving the Rubik's cube,
but died on the cross.
Boy: *scares girl*
Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"
Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*
Girl: What work?
Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"
7 year old Christian: *walks up to atheist menacingly* YoU nEeD sOmE jEsUs SaViNg!
Atheist: You prey to a Jewish zombie and I need saving?
What's the difference between Jesus and a gay person?
One created the rainbow, the other one ruined it.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
People in 1 Ad: I bet we will have the best technology ever in 2023.
2023: GO BACK NOW! THERE'S 50 THOUSAND GENDERS, DUMB GEN Z, TIK TOK, WE NEED JESUS!
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
Why did Jesus die at the diving Olympics? Because he can't go through water.
"Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church.
But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
Ever wonder how a Jehovah’s Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you’re here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
So can we agree that Jesus was the first victim of cancel culture?
What did Jesus say when he was left hanging on the cross?
"Well this is one hell of a way to spend my Easter vacation!"
Why was Jesus Christ cut from the hockey team?
He kept getting nailed to the boards.
My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.
So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.
In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.
There hasn’t been 3 months of peace in this country since 2019. Jesus, take the wheel.
Do y'all love Jesus, God? 🙏❤️
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
