There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
My girlfriend said she wanted to be pampered. I told her I wasn't into diaper fetishes.
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?
What does a woman call Stormzy in bed?
Stiff chocolate.
Boy: Wanna hear about my dick? Never mind, it's too short.
Girl: Wanna hear about my pussy? Fuck no, you won't get it.
Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
What's something you can say in church and while having sex?
I come in the name of the Lord.
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?
Something big and warm 🍆.
My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.
If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
