Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
It takes a lot of trust for two cannibals to gluck gluck each other. You never know when it's goodbye willy.
If I fuck you harder, you have to scream "daddy," but what happens when you cum?
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
I masturbated by accident. I read the wrong thing And tested its factuality.
Well, it's been some good years now, haven't they? Being your own partner has never felt so together.
What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).
What’s something you can say in bed and in a Zoom meeting?
"Do you want the cameras on or off?"
When I have sex, my girlfriend screams, especially when I walk in on her.
I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.
Why is hand holding a couple thing? Because they touch each other's genitals anyway.
What do nail polish and panties have in common?
Both come off with alcohol.
We aren't ghosts, but I'll take you under the sheets.
How do you really piss off your girlfriend while having sex?
Call her on the phone.
TFW you're having sex with your German girlfriend and she won't stop telling you her age.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
What is the similar thing between alcohol and anal sex?
They are not for kids.
