Intimacy jokes

Fishing is like sex: when it is great, it is great; when it is not so great, it is still great!

What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

My neighbor's daughter gave me a three-course meal last night:

Starters - role play and stripping.

Main course - Reverse Cowgirl.

Dessert - Blowy.

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

What do trans women bring to lesbian relationships?

Something big and warm 🍆.

She’s so therapeutic.

When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.

If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.

Girlfriend: No.

Boyfriend: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you want sex.

Boyfriend: No, I don't.

NEXT MINUTE

The man could hear banging.

How do you suck a dick?

Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.

What did the first guy say to the second?

Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?

Can you fuck me, please?

If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.