If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
What is a queef?
Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
Leukophobic people don’t have sex. Leukophobia is the fear of white.
Are you a haunted house?
Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
What’s the difference between 3 cocks and my sister?
My sister can’t take a joke about cocks in bed.
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
ur smash me so hard i gave her the d
If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.
If you're almost there and then she laughs, then you've got a whole different problem on your hands.
You know my first name, but don’t worry about it; you’ll only be screaming my first.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
Did you know there’s a sex position called “Amazon”? You wait all day and nobody comes.
I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.
