My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."
Intimacy Jokes
She’s so therapeutic.
When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.
We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.
I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.
I needn't have bothered.
The next day, it was smeared all over my face.
Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.
If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.
Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.
Girlfriend: No.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girlfriend: Because you want sex.
Boyfriend: No, I don't.
NEXT MINUTE
The man could hear banging.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
How do you suck a dick?
Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
Can you fuck me, please?
If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...
A hand is always sad when it sees a dick is going inside.
She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.
What does your girl do to me? She sucks me off.
What is a queef?
Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️
What is the difference between anal and oral sex?
Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's boyfriend like having sex with her?
'Cause she just lies there like she's dead.
I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.
