Intimacy

Intimacy jokes

Penis

A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."

Size

When your girlfriend says it is too small, you say, "Just enjoy the small thing."

Church

What's something you can say in church and while having sex?

I come in the name of the Lord.

Fish

How do you turn a cat into a fish?

Tell your girl not to wash down there.

Masturbation

My son caught me masturbating. He asked me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Don't worry, son, you'll be doing it soon." He asks, "Why is that?" and I said, "My arm's getting tired."

Memes

Restlessness

She’s so therapeutic.

When I need to cure my restlessness, I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess!

Sex

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

Sex

I spent 10 hours applying makeup so I could look pretty when I was going to have sex with my partner.

I needn't have bothered.

The next day, it was smeared all over my face.

Girl

Kiss a girl on the forehead make her happy for a day.

If you give her anal you'll make her whole weak.

Sex

Boyfriend: Let's go to bed.

Girlfriend: No.

Boyfriend: Why?

Girlfriend: Because you want sex.

Boyfriend: No, I don't.

NEXT MINUTE

The man could hear banging.

Booty

"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."

Dick

How do you suck a dick?

Stick it down your throat like Nicholas does with Dennis.

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  • Banana

    What did the first guy say to the second?

    Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?

    Name

    If you have a daughter, give her the same name as the mum; that way when you call for a beer, you get two beers, and when you call for sex, you get two sex...

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  • Ass

    She said she was hungry. So I fucked her in the ass and gave her a chili dog.

    Queef

    What is a queef?

    Something your mum did in bed last night. 😩😩😩🍑🍑🍑🌬️🌬️🌬️🌪️🌪️🌪️

    Sex

    What is the difference between anal and oral sex?

    Oral sex makes your whole day. Anal sex makes your hole weak.