INS jokes
What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.
Why is it easy to defeat America in Clash of Clans?
Because they have already got 2 towers down.
Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.
MISSING!! MISSING!! 🚨
Name-pionel PESSI Missing: 09/03/2021 vs Madrid Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty"
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, St etienne
Last seen- Alaba’s Pocket
⚠️ ⚠️: don’t walk around with pens
I was at a farm in France called ‘Uber eats Farmer league’, then I saw a strange creature called ‘Pessi’. He only appears against farmers.
He ran towards to me, I didn’t know what I should do so I decided to shout “Big games! Big games!“ Pessi scurried away.
My wife said, "Why oh why have you ordered carpet, our house is lovely?"
Thankfully the carpet was put to good use in the end, no more stupid comments coming from a rolled up Emily in the bottom of the ocean!
I'm thinking about telling my daughter there's a ghost in the house. At least then I can wear a bed sheet at night and fuck her without her being suspicious.
Your forehead is so big it can't even fit in the garage!
A cat in the desert be like:
YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was in the Sahara Desert, dying of thirst. Thankfully, Pionel Pessi, the debut man, came to my rescue👨🚒. He brought in 100's of helicopters filled with bottles to quench my thirst. I asked him how he had so many bottles; "big games," he replied. Thanks for saving my life, my idol.
It's about bottling.
It's about crying.
I stay finished, I fake retire.
Put in the diving.
Put in the ghosting
And take my fake trophies.
Eibar and Bolivia in my veins.
My Barcelona banged by Bayern.
I bottle the game, so what's my farmer's name? (Pessi)
What do black men in the NBA like about going to the locker room after they are done playing basketball?
Receiving golden showers from other black teammates.
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
I like penis in my bum!
Sorry.
Why are you sorry?
Sorry for putting deez nuts in your mouth.
My family is like Donkey Kong: a real pain in the ass.
Yo mama so hot, she can fit in a mug.
When your mum tells you to help your granny And you in plug life support.
What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
Why was one afraid of every number in the world?
Because ONE wanted TWO get something THREE FOUR FIVE at the yard sale, but SIX was not there. SEVEN EIGHT NINE as well. When all but ONE remained, it got TENse.