INS jokes

I'll never forget my brother's last words: "Why is there a revolver in your hand?"

What's worse than ants in your pants?

Michael Jackson.

Did you know Yao Ming has the biggest penis in Chinese history? It measured in at nearly 5 inches!

What do Myspace and my dad have in common?

I haven't seen them in a while.

Your hairline is so deep that we measure it in metres.

A cat in the desert be like:

YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What do orphans and blind kids have in common: They both can't see their parents.

Despite my devilish attitude, I have the heart of a small boy.

I keep it in a jar on my desk.

What do you call a seven who's not feeling well? A sick seven

Where did Sally go after stepping onto the minefield? Everywhere

Getting a girlfriend is just like parking a car; usually all the good ones are taken, so you just gotta stick it in the disabled one and hope nobody notices.

I breathe in African food.

A pedophile lures a group of Houston Girl Scouts with "Hey girls, would you like some candy?" They all agree and follow him to his neighborhood. There he offers them some more candy and they follow him to his house. Once again he offers them candy to go in to his house. In the lounge he offers them candy to go to his room. As he leads them up the stairs one of them pipes up and says "God, I hope we get laid before we get diabetes."

I bought my cousin a trampoline, she started crying. She was in a wheelchair.

What does a hooker and butter have in common?

They both spread for bread.

I called the suicide hotline in Iraq. The person got excited and asked if I can drive a truck.

I was in the car, and I got out and saw a deer walking sexy, and I'm like, "What the..."

Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?

Because they don't have balls.

I told a joke to a guy who had jumped off a bridge... He was in bits! 🤣🤦‍♂️

I am only here because me no like Blues Clues LGBTQ episode as I don’t believe in that. If you do, ok.

And it shouldn’t be a month, the month should be for all of the war veterans, it should be a day for pride. Companies only use this month for money; it’s exploitation because they don’t truly support, unlike me, in which I don’t support it.

Me: "Hey, are your parents home?"

Orphan: "Stop calling here!"

Me in the corner.

There were ten cats in a boat, and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, 'cause they are all copycats.