INS jokes
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
What do you call a calf that is in no way brave?
A coward.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor: 10 babies in one trash can.
Morbid humor: 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
There were 25 cows, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
(Ten, if you count in base 13!)
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
Say what you want about Hitler, but in the end, he did kill Hitler.
My mom said, "You are in big trouble!"
I said, "Are you going to punish me?"
I once auditioned to be in Sausage Party. I thought I filled the role well.
Stephen Hawking's not dead, he is just in airplane mode.
What would you call a person who hides in a house for 24 hours and then kills them?
Morgz.
Why don't gay Greek men in Greece perform anilingus on each other?
Because anilingus between two gay men is against the law in Greece.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
What do a Make-A-Wish kid and mosquitoes have in common?
They both got a 10% survival rate...
Q: Why did the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz win an award?
A: Because he was outstanding in his field.