INS jokes

Why did the boy put a chicken 🐔 in his garden?

He wanted to grow an eggplant. 😂

Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?

Because their parents were in a jam.

Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?

No, neither has he.

How does an artist fill in a CV?

He draws on experience.

That camping trip was in-tents.

I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.

Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a lil' boogie in it ;)

My brother told me he wanted to find a golden apple tree in real life. I told him it was a fruitless mission.

What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.

There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."

Q. What did one Iron atom say to the other Iron atom?

A. "We're in the Matrix."

Why was the giraffe late to work?

Because it got caught in a giraffic jam.

My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.

I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.

A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.

The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"

The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"

Why is "dark" spelled with a K and not a C?

Because you can't see in the dark.

I put the fun in dysfunctional.

When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,

other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."

What does a condom and a coffin have in common?

They both still have stiffs, but one is coming and one is going.