INS jokes

Mama

    • Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.

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    • Ash

    • Did you hear about the woman who put her husband’s ashes in a burrito?

    He gets to tear that ass up one more time.

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    • Genie

    • A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”

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    • Tea

    • Feeling stressed? Have a nice cup of tea and spill it in the lab of the person bothering you.

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    • INS memes

    Whale

    • Suzy: How did Jonah fit in the whale?

    Teacher: Whales are very big but have small mouths, so Jonah did not actually fit in the whale.

    Suzy: Well, the Bible says he did.

    Teacher: He did not.

    Suzy: When I get to heaven I will ask him how he fit in.

    Teacher: How do you know he went to heaven? Maybe he went to hell.

    Suzy: Then you can ask him.

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    • Mind

    • Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?

    JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.

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    • Reincarnation

    • This morning, I was having a conversation with my ex-boyfriend about reincarnation. I said to him, "If you could come back in the next life as anything, what would you come back as?" He thought about it for a minute and says, "A tree. That way, everybody can look at me and admire me."

    Then he says the same thing to me. I started thinking about it when these two sexy, half-naked studs walked by. One was a jock, the other on his bicycle. I know I said I want to come back as a jockstrap or a bicycle seat, but knowing my luck, I'll come back as a tampon.

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    • Hockey

    • Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?

    It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.

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    • Nun

    • At night in the Nunnery, one Nun says to the other Nun, "Where's the candle?" The other Nun says, "Doesn't it!"

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    • 9/11

    • This category is messed up.

    My Mom died in 9/11, at least she was doing what she loved, flying planes.

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