INS jokes
Why is the letter "B" very cool? Because it's sitting in the AC.
Tell your mom happy last night. 🍆 in my bed.
Do you know what Fortnite was like before season 2 chapter 3? They put the Foundation / The Rock in the water where aliens were that season.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
Alfred the Great was arguably the greatest king in England’s history.
The worst? Richard the Goat Fucker.
I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
Ejaculated in her braces, call that children behind bars.
Did you know every market in Africa is a black market?
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.
"There is no way you can fit in there."
"Says who?"
"Your mom."
"When?"
"Last night."
"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-"
When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no.
See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen, and I could just have his motorcycle.
When you're in a cage But it's not real!
Being in a cage But you have the key.
Being in a cage But nobody sees you.
Being outside of a cage, but it's empty.
Living and realizing you've been born into one.
Thinking someone cared about you But turns out they're toxic as fu**.
But you can't live without them.
The cage Is you. You have the key But you don't know how to use it.
An orphan and a homeless man get into a fight, so he yells in a mirror.
What did the make-a-wish kid say when the Avengers turn up without Tony Stark?
"We are in the endgame now!"
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other, and I said, "Excuse me, where is the bathroom?" and the man said, "Right over there." I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say, "Dad, I have to go to school soon!"
What do sea turtles and lesbians have in common?
They both choke on plastic.
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.