INS jokes
The time when Michael Jackson came in his pajamas during the trial. Whether or not it was because he saw a 7-year-old boy has yet to be determined.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
1 like = 1 kid in the bed with me.
What do the Titanic and the Sixth Sense have in common?
Icy dead people.
What do Princess Diana and a landmine have in common? Both are easy to lay. Both costly and time-consuming to get rid of.
What did Saint Peter say to Diana when she got to the pearly gates? "Wipe that Merc off your face."
What's the most played game in Africa? The Hunger Games.
If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?
What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.
dont make jokes about the accident my dad died in it he was the best pilot in all of Saudi Arabia :(
Why is the B so cool? Because it’s in between A and C.
I am throwing a party in space. Can you help me planet?
What do an X-Box and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both made of plastic and little kids turn them on.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
How many orphans does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they don't even got a home.
Christmas special
Me: Can you describe Mrs. Claus in 3 words? Santa: Ho ho ho.
I slept like a log last night... woke up in the fireplace.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
A mouse is just like a ball bearing.
Drench them in oil, and they stop squeaking.
Why did Susie get cut from the soccer team? She has no legs!
Who broke into my house by kicking down my door? Not Susie... But she still is in my basement, since she can't run!