INS jokes
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?
Panda-monium!
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
A black guy walks into a store to buy some watermelon and fried chicken. The cashier says, "That'll be $20." He pulls out his wallet, but it's empty. Suddenly, a bigger black guy bursts in, grabs him, and says, "Time to pay up, n***a!" Then he bends him over the counter and fucks him in the ass.
Nolan is a mole, who lives in a hole, and then had intercourse with a troll.
A man is sitting in a chair. He is talking to the other friend about what they must cherish.
One says he cherishes his family, the other cherishes his parents, and a man comes in, points at the chair and says, “I CHAIRish my Chair” as he pulls up a chair.
A couple has sex in the dark every single night.
One night, the wife gets curious about what goes on, so they start f...ing, and she flicks the light on. When she flicks the light on, she catches him with a dildo playing with her pussy. She's so mad that she started ranting and raving. The husband says, "Honey, I know you're mad, and I'll explain the toy. Just do me one favor: explain the children."
Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the car.
Okay, what do you call that purple thing in your mom's top dresser drawer that she calls her best best friend for some weird reason?
Dad better look out from Bob, battery-operated boyfriend, hahaha!
Are you a white van? Because I would love to put children in you.
How does Jesus whistle?
By blowing through the holes in his hands.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
What do you call a doctor in Panera Bread?
Panera Med.
Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?
Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.
What do a pimp and a farmer have in common?
They both need a hoe to stay in business.
"My sister said she was the only smart one in the class."
"What about the teacher you learn *from*?"
Addison in bra.
I aced my poker test...
My teacher asked me to reflect on my work, so I got a mirror...
A caffeinated vampire goes to sleep in a coffin...
Do you get my puns? No, because you can't seem to get a grasp on how bad they are...
You dream in 4K.
Why do only guys have fun? There's only the word "penis" in happiness.