INS jokes

What is the most played game in Africa?

The Hunger Games.

Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?

Why do cemeteries have fences around them? People are dying to get in.

I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.

A man was in a courtroom. The judge said, "What should this man's punishment be?"

A random guy yelled, "Off with his head!"

The judge said, "He shall give head to every man in this room."

The guy yelled, "Wait, that's not what I said!"

If only they had more mosquito nets in Africa, we could prevent millions of mosquitos dying needlessly of AIDS...

Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.

Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."

When 9/11 happened, we changed our airport policies. When school shootings happen, we haven't changed anything since the shooting at Columbine in 1999. And we say we want the children to be safe.

My friend group is pretty diverse. I'm Japanese, one friend is Filipino, one is American, one is Italian, and the last one is German.

Out of everyone in the friend group, the Filipino and the American were the quickest to feel uncomfortable when I asked, "Who wants to go on a march with me?"

How do you get away with rape and incest in California?

Say you identify as a woman. Fact: It's actually legal to rape your daughter if you are a woman in California.

I can’t believe it’s been over a year since Kobe decided he’s too good to wait in traffic.

I'm in jail for 5 minutes and I already got fucked 15 times. You don't have any idea how much I hate playing Monopoly with my dad.

People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.

Gf: "You are a drug."

Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"

Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."

What's the difference between England and a tea bag? -- The tea bag stays longer in a cup.

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?

Because when she gets to 69 there's a frog in her throat.

What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?

"Let us prey together."

So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.

So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂

Two gay guys, two lesbians, and two pedophiles have a race.

What is the order of finish?

1. Lesbians. Doing 69 the whole way.

2. Pedophiles. Coming in a little behind.

3. Gay guys. Still packing their shit.