INS jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Get in the van, or I'll kill you.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Tell them to stand in the corner in a round room.

Zion is so fat that his dick can't even fit in his wife's pussy.

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist colony? The one who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and a dozen doughnuts.

What do you call a woman in a fighter jet to the right of the president?

An escort.

I was going to charge my phone, so I pulled a plug and put it in. Then, my grandpa wasn't breathing anymore.

I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.

What does a pizza man and a gynecologist have in common?

They can both scrape the cheese out of the box for a nice snack.

"Don't sneeze!"

Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.

Also,

"It dangles and swung!"

Language art quizzes are the best.

Jack and Jill went up a hill to do it in the water.

Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.

BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA

ALAKBAR

What do you tell twins who are in love with each other?

Go fuck yourself!

Yo mama is so fat, she was the iceberg in Titanic.

What do dead people and orphans have in common? They can't see their family.

Your hairline goes so back that it’s ingrained in history.

If 6 is afraid because 7, 8, 9, why is 10 scared?

Because it's in between 9/11.

I work at a morgue and we wrap the bodies in bubble wrap.

I was working the night shift and just looking at the security cameras, but then I heard popping behind me!

Archer riddle has less atoms in his brain than he does in his dick, and his dick is 1/4 of a millimeter.

I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.

—Shane Richie, British actor