Injury jokes
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A Doberman in a playground.
“What happens to an Asian man when he runs into a brick wall with an erection?”
“A broken nose.”
I put glue in a man :)
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.
"Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.
"What is it?" The doctor asks.
"I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.
". . . That's because I amputated your arms."
A man lost his left arm.
He's all right now.
What has two legs and is red all over?
Half a cat.
Did you hear about the person who got hit in the head with a soda can?
Good thing it was a "soft" drink!
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Why are smurfs blue?
Because they get bruises all the time.
A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!"
You're so lucky bullies don't have a chance to push you around anymore?
They'll get theirs when they're in a wheelchair?
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?
Ben after he trips over the giant curb!
A father and three sons are renovating a house when a wall of that house collapses and breaks the father's back. Keeping calm, he tells the sons, "Well, I guess this is what you would call back-breaking labor." He chuckled, then passed out from pain.
A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."
How to fall down stairs.
Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.