Im jokes
What did the Titanic say as it sank?
I’m nominating all passengers for the Ice Bucket Challenge!
After I see an anime boy acting cool,
Me at school acting cool:
My brothers: "He's just acting cool."
Me: I'm gonna kill u 0.0
I came across a pic of the oldest man on earth on IG. He was 132 years old.
I commented "age is just a number" for him; now I'm banned.
What did the Queen Bee of Destiny's Child say?
"I'm so crazy in love..."
Noose: "Hey man, wanna hang out?"
Corpse: "Sorry man, I'm dead inside."
How do you make a body disappear?
You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!
P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.
Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
What did one nut say to the other nut when it was chasing it?
“I’m gonna cashew!”
Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Why can't I get a girlfriend?
Because I'm a beta male simp.
I'm so poor that when robbers break into my house,
they bring me things. <_>
Deku: Hey Todoroki, are you done with your Halloween costume?
Todoroki: Yes. *comes out in a macaroni outfit*
Deku: Wha- I'm todoroni.
Bakugo: OMFG, I'm out! *blows up UA*
Doctor: I’m going to have to turn you away.
Orphan: But why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family doctor.
I'm making a website for orphans. [I] won't add the home page.
A doctor walks into his office and looks his patient in the eyes, "Sir, you have to stop jerking off."
The man asks, "Why?"
The doctor then says, "Because I'm trying to examine you."
So I'm reading Hamlet, right? And then this one page they like, "Yo, like, Hamlet the fuck t tgo foff off KING speak, yo" 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 truth ong fr 😂 Face with thing is funny or... 😂 😂 😂 😂 the
You wanna hear a construction joke?
I'm still workin' on it!