Ill

Ill jokes

Steak

1 view ·

Waitress: What can I get for you?

Me: I'll have a steak.

Waitress: How would you like it?

Me: Immediately!

Coffin

2 views ·

When I die, I'll let everyone I kept dear lower my coffin into the ground.

So they can let me down one last time.

Rose

1 view ·

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.

Masturbation

8 views ·

I once masturbated in the bathroom.

I was looking for something, for a little help.

Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.

I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!

Patient

38 views ·

Imagine this scenario: a doctor walks in and tells the patient that he has all the illnesses in the world like this: "You have depression, diarrhea, cancer,... etc." and then the last one on the list is that he is deaf.

Cereal

5 views ·

Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.

Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.

9/11

67 views ·

9/11 isn't something we should joke about. Some people can remember where they were when they found out. I'll never forget where I was when I found out.

It was 9:37, September 10th, 2001. I was in a cave in Iraq when my friend Mohammad told me.

Dad

6 views ·

My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.

Lie

19 views ·

Dad: If you study, then I will buy you a new iPhone.

Son: Okay, I'll do it!

5 hours later...

Son: I'm done!

Dad: I lied.

Son: So did I!

Music

23 views ·

This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different kinds and types of music willingly. I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post. If you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments.

Friend

1 view ·

If y'all look up freshfry jokes, I'll come up. About a year ago, I had a bunch of friends on this app.