If jokes

If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.

If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.

Opposite day be like in doors.

Figure: Finally, I can see.

Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.

Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.

Eyes: 😭

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

What’s the difference between a prostitute and a homeless shelter?

You can shit a load inside of a prostitute, but if you try it in a shelter, you get arrested.

If you hate pedophiles, grow up.

What's at least 6 inches long and goes in your mouth, and it's more fun if it vibrates?

A toothbrush.

If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.

I asked an emo kid if they were jealous because their phone died before them.

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

What if Flappy Bird was with the Twin Towers?

If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.

TJ's hairline is so far back, if you travel back in time, you still won't find it.

Why do trans women go by she/her?

Because if they went by her/she, they'd be Hershey's.

Teacher: I’m gonna call your parents.

Orphan: Go on, see if they pick up.