If jokes

Asian pregnancy test:

Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.

Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.

If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.

The rest of them will write Perl programs.

Like if you meet someone emo.

Like if you wanna have sex.

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?

A. Denephew.

My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?

The average IQ increases in both places.

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?

What do bungee jumping and a gay man have in common?

If the rubber breaks, they're in beep shit.

If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.

All trucks are monster trucks if you’re afraid of trucks.

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.

If a cat or a dog plays Among Us, it will wanna be the impawstor.