If jokes
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
If you're going shopping at school, what color would I like to smell: True or False?
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
Like if you hate going to school.
Asian pregnancy test:
Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.
Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Like if you wanna have sex.
Like if you meet someone emo.
If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.
My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?
The average IQ increases in both places.
Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.
Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.
If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Some people think jokes about child abuse are funny.
I'm not sure if I think that, but they do seem to hit different.