If jokes

If somebody gives you lemons, cut them in half and do the juice in his eyes.

Dude, if you're at the ATM, wouldn't that mean you're buying your own money?

If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,

that's a big red flag!

If lint comes from pockets, where does a cockroach come from?

Your forehead's so big that I was tryna figure out if that was you or the moon.

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

If I was an object in this world, I’d be a glass! Because if you leave me when I’m too close to the edge, I will likely shatter and break.

A married woman asked her husband if he saw the future. The husband answered her, "I have no eye, dear."

Dude, if there is a watermelon, shouldn't there be an earthmelon, airmelon, and a firemelon? The elemelons.

If an orphan takes a family photo, it’s called a selfie.

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor because I need new parts for my go-kart.

Why did Helen Keller’s dog run away?

You’d run away too if your name was afjlkawihrs gdfn wjasidphbfvnas icxhuvbjsdlk m.nd;fuoxcghkfjckoSZ: lF,.XMAVUDOXICUGJNWLFXCMV CKLSAXHV IJADHXC;IVKSA.

How do you make an orphan cry? Ask to go over to his house if his parents are OK with it.

If you play FNF, I play a game because he has two balls, boi.

If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.

If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?

Ever seen twins?

If you said yes, was it before or after 2001?

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I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!

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