If jokes

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.

One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"

The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"

His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"

It isn't rap music if it isn't about rape.

This is what the unknown guy is saying about Tenya and Kenya!

Go to each link and read it and the comments, and it will really make you cry!

http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fb240eccd25122cb21997/kenya-will-end-up-all-alone

https://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fa7beeccd25122cb2197b/fine-then-if-i-cant-do-gwen-then-i-guess http://worstjokesever.com/jokes/603fbb2aeccd25122cb219a5/kenya-at-least-you-know-youre-ugly-and-accept-itit-is-tenya-and-kenya-twin-sisters

You think Gwen is the worst one to get bullied? Well look at this!

What's green, fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you?

A pool table.

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

If rape was about power, then my electric bill would be a positive balance.

Why did the orphan go to the playground?

To see if it could find its parents.

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

Like this if you laughed.

These orphan jokes would leave them crying to their mommies if they had any.

I made a website for orphans. Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.

Why is it ok to hit an orphan? It’s not like they can tell their parents.

Why did the orphan go to church? So he had someone to call Father.

Why do orphans love boomerangs? Because they come back. (Clearly someone didn't come back with the milk)

Why was the orphan so successful? When they told him go big or go home, he only had one option.

What’s the only advantage of being an orphan? Nobody makes jokes about yo mamma.

Hope you had fun reading this! My friend and I laughed reading all of em!

If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would cut himself to death.

The twin towers are like water bottles.

It's all right if you knock them down as long as you pick up the mess.

When I ask my dad if I got adopted, he said, "Not yet, no one wants you."

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

If I wanted to kill myself, I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?

Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D

Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.

The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"

"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."

If you got a bowling ball and you stuck it on top of a sack of potatoes, what would you get?

A "retiree."

I am the ice cream man running over fat kids with my van. If you touch my van, I’ll smack you in the face with a frying pan. If you steal ice cream, I’ll shoot you in the face with a fudge machine.

My girlfriend's sister told me to write her a poem. This is what I came up with:

roses are red, violets are blue, if you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.