If jokes

Like if you hate going to school.

Like if you wanna have sex.

If 80% of all suicides in the UK are males, and women want equality, then maybe they should just kill themselves.

Asian pregnancy test:

Stick a Rubix cube into pussy.

Wait 30 seconds, if it's solved then there's a little Asian in there.

My friend Liam has a hairline [if you can even call it a hairline] so bad it keeps going back for miles.

What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?

The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

If I don't find a reason to live soon, my ceiling fan isn't the only thing that's gonna be hanging from my ceiling.

If my phone battery lasted as long as my relationship, I would never be able to play on my phone.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

What happens if the dumbest person from Europe goes to the US?

The average IQ increases in both places.

Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?

A. Denephew.

Police Report: Looking for a female, light brown hair, blue eyes, freckles, and a small scar on her right check.

Last seen on CCTV wearing see-through bottoms, a pink top, and a vibrating dildo hanging out of her arse. If you find this woman, please get her to charge the dildo for excessive fun.

Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.

The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"

If you're ever bored, rape an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

A computer is like a living organism. Its charger is its life support. If you "pull the plug," you are letting it slowly die.

If emo grass cuts itself for you, then what do transgender picture frames do?

Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.

If McDonald's is fast food, then Dairy Queen is fast cream.

Opposite day be like in doors.

Figure: Finally, I can see.

Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.

Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.

Eyes: 😭