If jokes

If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?

If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.

What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?

Kick her.

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?

If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"

A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.

I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.

I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.

If you know, you know. 😏😏

If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

Dad: Well, how do you know?

Son: I found the adoption papers.

Dad: That is for your mum.

If you know, you know.

I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?

Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!

What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?

If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?