If jokes

If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."

Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."

Joker gives Batman a phone.

Thomas: "Uhh, son, we need to talk... about the uhh, dressing up."

Martha: "Hello dearie, Brucie, is it ok if you visit me when you go to Joker's house?"

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

Why did Helen Keller's cat run away? I would run away if my name was jufhvfhvurhkso.

Flat earthers are completely wrong. If the earth was flat, I would have yeeted myself off the edge years ago!

If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?

Big hands.

If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.

If I'm racist to everybody, am I even racist?

If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.

Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.

Dad: Well, how do you know?

Son: I found the adoption papers.

Dad: That is for your mum.

If you know, you know.

How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?

Stick a chicken wing up there.

A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.

The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."

The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."

The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.

My wife told me she’ll slam my head into the keyboard if I don’t get off the computer.

I’m not too worried—I think she’s jokingdkdkslalkdlkfjslfjslksdlkfjuahehwhgwdklaljdf.

A man was mowing his lawn when blue and red stuff came out instead of grass. Next thing he knew, a smurf was on his shoulder asking if he’s seen his friend.