If jokes
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
If an Indian kid is conceived in incest, would that make them OMbred?
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
If you pour paint in your eyes, the paint loses the 't'.
Son: Dad, I know I'm adopted.
Dad: Well, how do you know?
Son: I found the adoption papers.
Dad: That is for your mum.
If you know, you know.
I have a question: Does aging affect corpses, too?
Just asking to know if I still count as a pedophile or not!
A mirror and a beer bottle are arguing.
The beer bottle says: "If you break me, you get one year of bad luck."
The mirror scoffs: "Oh, that's nothing. You break me and you get 7 years of bad luck."
The condom overhears these arguments and walks off laughing.
If a school shooter walks into a classroom and shoots an autistic kid, what does the kid say? "Why do I look like Swiss cheese?"
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
You know that if it says, "Adopt a Highway" and no one does, we're driving on orphans.
I told my friend that we should dress up as P. Diddy and Drake for Halloween and ask parents if their kid wants to come over for a sleepover.
"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.
If abortion is murder, is jerking off genocide?
A man is lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his crotch. A woman passing by remarks, "If you were any sort of a gentleman, you would lift your hat to a lady." He replies, "If you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself."
Who needs April 1st if your whole life is already a lie?
If a dog made a computer, it would have a mega bite.
If you're bored, joke about an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?