If jokes

If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!

If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.

If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.

What's the best part about getting a lap dance from an Asian woman?

Her eyes are so narrow that she can't see if you don't pay her.

How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?

Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.

It’s OK if emo kids always hang from the trees, but if we do it, it’s considered against the law.

If we get this to 1000 dislikes, I will do TWO joking keggars on Halloween.

So what are you waiting for? Hit the button, idiot.

If I ever have a YouTube channel, I'm pretty sure it would be called "101 Things NOT To Do With Electrical Sockets."

So this guy is talking to his buddy about his flying lessons.

"My first time in the air, my instructor informed me that he was an 8th degree black belt and homosexual, and if I don’t succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump out of the plane."

And his buddy says, "Well, did you jump?"

The guy says, "Yeah, a little at first."

A guy walks up to me in the street and asks if you have to include the name of an animal in every sentence. I said only if it's relephant.

He says what about vegetables. I said not nesecelery.

Never drink tea in school... I give people tea if they've passed out... tea can be nice, but only have it once a day... It's not what you think... It's not tea, it's CPR.

If you boil your funny bone, it becomes a laughing stock.

My bad, I kick me bad in if balls, and he got so fucking mad.

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

What do you do if your online friend wants to commit suicide? You can't do anything, he's already on line.

If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.

No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.

If you like funny comments, click the comment section.

I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.

If per capita is an issue, decapita can be arranged.

If I have ligma and you have ligma, how about you ligma balls? 😏 (It’s all about how you pronounce the end.)

3 boys were having a debate about who had the healthiest grandma.

Boy 1: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 67 years old and can still do a backflip!"

Boy 2: "No, I have the healthiest grandma. She is 76 years old and can still finish a marathon!"

Boy 3: "I have the healthiest grandma. She is 85 and she is in the hospital..."

Boy 1 and 2, looking confused.

Boy 1: "If she's so healthy, why is she in the hospital?"

Boy 3: "Because she's giving birth right now!"