If jokes

If an orphan took a picture, what would you call it? A family photo.

If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

Comment anything if you like what you saw with Gwen in her bra!

Why can’t an orphan play soccer?

If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.

It's hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.

I want to die to see the other side, but if I die I won't know anybody on the other side.

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."

If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?

GHOST MUSTERD

If you get an apple a day, what does it give you?

Worms and rotten fruit.

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.

If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.

If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?

So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.

What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?

Then you get the name Chrisa.

If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.