If jokes

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.

I talk about the girls in my math class simping over anime characters and making random ships as well as for Miraculous Ladybug children's show, whatever the show is called, but it's a kids show. 💀 Now they’re searching up pictures of Tom Holland laughing in their absolute weirdness.

I like Tom Holland, but these kids man, they like him like they’re in a relationship. They might as well start kissing and licking the screen. They’re probably writing fanfictions in their free time when they aren’t searching up kids show characters, anime characters, and Tom Holland pics on their SCHOOL CHROMEBOOK. Their only device choice was a school-provided laptop which is monitored by the school while they are writing fan fictions on Google Docs and searching up some weird Tom Holland stuff. Imagine how Tom Holland would feel if he found out that there are 11 year old girls searching up some weird stuff about him.

What happens if you look in the mirror and say fentanyl 3 times? You'll see Derek Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck.

It's okay if you miss while saying "Kobe" because he didn't make it either.

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

If we don't get some support soon, people are gonna think we're nuts.

Shower thought: If everyone had schizophrenia, no one would know we had schizophrenia or know what it is!

It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.

Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!

If Will Smith could be in any movie, he would be in "Find My Hairline."

Only if Africans knew about condoms, so many mosquitoes wouldn't die of AIDS.

If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?

If I had a dollar for every time a rap hater made an intelligent statement, I’d be more broke than the rap haters.

If I worked for Edexcel, I'd give Caroline Flack an A* for her physics experiment.

If Stephen Hawking was an Xbox... he just red ringed and rose up to GameStop.

So if I drink alcohol, you're an alcoholic. But if I drink Fanta, I’m fantastic.

If Stephen Hawking was walking, they would have a hawk problem.

If you are ever mad, punch an orphan.

What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.

If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan in the face. What's he going to do? Tell his parents?