If jokes

I will remember my brother's last words: if you can't put a fork in a toaster, how about a spoon?

Here's a tip for cow tipping from TheRussianBadger.

"So if you see Otis from Barnyard, make sure you blast his ass from a distance!"

Once in 4th grade, right now, I told a random tree, "Hey, my day is bad right now, can we hang later?"

The tree said: "Yeah, we are going to be hanging every day :) !!! If you can last :)"

If you have a bad day, just think there are at least 15 people who care about you.

Like this if you like me.

You're so ugly that if you looked in the mirror, you would walk into the light.

Little Johnny: Dad, why are you rubbing the horse's chest and butt?

Dad: I want to see if it's good enough to buy.

Little Johnny: I think Uncle Joe wants to buy Mom.

Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.

Orphans: Going 180.

If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Wait, they don't have any.

If an orphan took a picture, what would you call it? A family photo.

If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.

If every time someone faints when they see your face and I get 1 cent, I would be a trillionaire.

Stephen Hawking was a spac. But if you put an E on the end, you get space, and he loved that.

Comment anything if you like what you saw with Gwen in her bra!

Why can’t an orphan play soccer?

If he can’t find home, he can’t find goal.

It's hard to tell if people are interested in joining my Sarcastic Club or not.

I want to die to see the other side, but if I die I won't know anybody on the other side.

You know how girls say, "I would have sex with you if you were the last person on earth"? Well, who's gonna stop me?

If your hot dog tastes like a piece of wood, who are you going to call?

"Ghost Musterd."

If your hot dog taste like a piece of wood, who you gonna call?

GHOST MUSTERD