If jokes

If you hit an orphan on the arm, what will he do? Tell his parents?

If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?

Tell an orphan: if you got no parents, clap your hands.

Maybe if the grass on my front lawn had depression, It would cut itself.

Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.

If a midget does meth, does he get high or get medium?

If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.

(Pick-up line) If your tits are the Twin Towers... can I be your Osama?

What if plants are farming us, giving us oxygen until we die, and turn into natural fertilizer which helps them?

When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.

Hey, I got some Domino's pizza, salad, breadsticks, and chicken wings for everyone. Yeah, but make sure Ms. Mandingo gorilla don't eat all up, because if she do, I'm going have to shove it up her fur.

If you play games, go play on your sister.

Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.

David: Isn't that illegal?

Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.

David: I hate my life.

Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!

You: Why? I don't have any.

If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.

Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!

If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?

Answer: A math problem.

So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!

If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?

A Catholic gay male that is well-endowed goes to confession, and while he is inside the confessional booth, the Catholic priest is sucking his dick, and he says to the Catholic priest, "What are you doing, Father?"

And the priest says, "It's called giving a blowjob."

And the Catholic gay male says, "Why are you giving me a blowjob, Father, inside the confessional booth?"

And the Catholic priest says, "If there was no glory hole in the confessional booth, my son, it would not be called a confessional booth in the first place."