If jokes

Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.

The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.

The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."

But she hasn't tried the position with her new boyfriend, so she invites him to a romantic dinner.

After dinner, she tells her boyfriend about her desire for it, but her boyfriend was clueless about such acts, so she tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay on top of him naked in the 69 position. She starts sucking him off and starts waiting for him to do the same, but the bf didn't know what to do, so he just lay there. Suddenly, the girl had an urge to fart but held it in because her asshole was right near his bf's face. Suddenly, she loses control and lets one out. She apologizes profusely and continues sucking him. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another fart rip near his face. The BF throws the girl from the couch, gets up, and says, "Bitch if you think I'll be lying here for 67 more of those, you're fucking crazy."

Like if you're short.

If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.

If sex with three people is called a "threesome" and sex with two people is called a "twosome," then I know why people call you handsome!

If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.

Roses are red, violets are blue, If I had a gun, I'd shoot you.

If at first you don't succeed, oh well, so much for skydiving.

My wife said if I rape her again, she would leave me. Why didn't anyone tell me it was that easy?

How do you know if an Asian is an orphan?

If their grade was only an A.

Like if depressed.

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you play Fortnite, then R.I.P. you.

What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?

A yeast infection.

If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!

I'd be a liar.

Like if you think someone is gay.

Follow me if you know someone smart.

A man asked another man if he was happy with his marriage. He replied, "Yes, I'm very happy. We go on date night every week." The other man asked, "When?" He goes on Wednesday and I go on Thursday.

So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.

If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)

(amazing pick up line) Yoo, what if we got matching tattoos? You get two towers and I get a plane, because I crashed right into your life!