If jokes

I asked my wife if I was the only one she slept with. She said yes—the others were 7's and 8's.

If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.

If a mentally challenged person shows up late,

Is it ok to call him tardy?

My doctor asked my brother if anyone in the family suffers from mental illness.

He replied: "No, we all seem to rather enjoy it!"

If a pregnant lady murders someone, does the child get an assist?

Imagine if a ninja got a low taper fade.

If we send more mosquitoes to Africa, we could save more mosquitoes from dying of AIDS.

Where can a gay male that is abled bodied find the location of a glory hole if he is looking for a free and anonymous blowjob from another gay male?

From a physically disabled gay male who is either at the gym 💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ or at the rest area ♿️ 🚹 🚽.

What do orgasms and impulses have in common?

I don’t care if they have either of them.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

Person with no arms: Even though I have no arms, I can do anything you guys can.

Me: If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏 If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. 👏👏

Person with no arms: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Ms. Smith: Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if I made ugly faces, it would freeze, and I would stay like that.

Little Johnny: Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned.

Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?

Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!

A Roman walks into a bar and asks for a Martinus.

"Don't you mean a martini?" asks the bartender.

The Roman replies, "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!"

I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.

If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.

I find it interesting that if you rearrange the letters in the word “Mother-in-law” you get the words “Woman Hitler”.

What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).

Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.

Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.

If you are a girl and your favorite movie as a kid was Mulan, they successfully made a man out of you.