If jokes

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

Beans for centuries have been called "false friends," because they have a tendency to talk behind one's back. If you get my drift. 🤣

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.

If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

Unbelievable! When doctors touch my body, it’s alright, but if I do the same to some lady, apparently it’s "harassment!"

Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.

If Opposition Expunged thought he was an animal, what would Thearchy be called?

Therianarchy!

Milk makes you tall, right?

Well how did you get tall if your dad didn't come back with the milk?

If you're taking notes in history class, aren't you just rewriting history?

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

My friend is upset with me because I sniffed his grandmother's nickers. Not sure if it was because she was still wearing them or if it was because the whole family was watching. Either way, the rest of her funeral was really awkward.