If jokes

If I don't get a bf by the end of this month, Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging from the roof.

New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.

Student: Stands up.

Teacher: Why did you stand up?

Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.

Q: How can you tell if a Western is gay?

A: All the good guys are hung.

The West is dying...just like the romance of an empire, especially the western part of the empire. Funny that, 'cause the East was going strong.

Son: Dad, if I told you I was gay, would you still love me?

Dad: Don’t be silly son, you were an accident. I never loved you in the first place.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

I asked a man if I was the fastest gun in the west. He said my 17 wasn't good enough. After that, a lot of lead went into his head.

If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.

I think about my life, and then I think about death. I prefer death. If you ask me, life is just a time when you die. Basically, death is life, meaningless 0-0.

If your nose runs and your feet smell, you are probably built upside down.

Sonic says if you're ever born, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an organ donor, because I need new parts for my go-kart.

This is not a joke, nor did I come up with it.

If somebody calls you ugly, just hug them and say, "Life must be hard for you since you have visual impairment!"

If an orphan takes a selfie, it is a family photo.

If you kick an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents on you?

If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.

If reincarnation is correct, if you die now, you can be reborn and live a second life. If you were born in Ukraine, you can immediately live a third life.

Orphans can be a robber if they want because their parents won't be disappointed.

What grade is the worst, like if in elementary?