If jokes
If you're cleaning a vacuum, aren't you the vacuum cleaner?
If an emo counts down, don't worry, they probably have only one bullet.
At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"
"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."
Maybe you should go on eBay to see if they have a life for sale.
Once my twin brother died from a plane crash. His last words were, "If it's a bomb, I'll give it a 9/11."
What do you do if your dick is smoking?
Get your mum to lick it.
"If your enemy is kicking your ass, blame it on the lag."
-- Sun Tzu, The Art of War
"If two sides in a battlefield read my book, there will be no winner."
Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
"It's not a war crime if you invade a country with oil."
-Sun Tzu, Art of War
What’s the best part of fucking Noor’s vulva (btw Noor is black)? If my dick is right beside Mara’s vulva (btw Mara’s white and so am I).
Like if you will sub to Patty Mahomes.
Comment if you will sub to Parker Finch.
How to cure boredom:
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
I heard the Kardashians were going on a cruise soon.
As if there's not already enough plastic in the ocean.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don't get some support soon, people will start to think we are balls."
If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?
Tony Abbott's career.
There was an exam music quiz question about Gary Glitter. Now, if there's anyone you don't want to associate with the phrase "shh, turn over, you've got an hour," it's him.
Shit, my bad. I should leave him alone, he just wants to settle down and have kids.
You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.
If an emo kid and the quiet kid had a fight, the quiet kid would win because the emo kid would hang himself to death.
Kids in wheelchairs can't stand up for themselves if there's a bully.
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.