Fuel jokes
Yo mama so fat, when I swerved to miss her, I ran out of gas.
Why did the rapper take the bus to the studio?
Because their car ran out of RHYME.
What did the wizard say when he was filling up the gas tank? "Expensive Petroleum!"
When the driver ran out of fuel, what kind of gasoline did he use? Grassoline.
Oil is soooooooo soooooooo cute 😍 ☺ 💓 💕 💖 ✨ 😍
I can't help it. Images look crazy but oil is soooooo cute!
"9/11 people" say that jet fuel cannot melt steel beams.
What did the coal say to the charcoal?
You look pretty coal! 🤣
Why did a cheetah fart? It needed more gas.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
Why was Hitler broke?
The gas prices are outrageous.
Yo... Kobe, you're going down man. Did you forget the low grade fuel?
Your mum is so fat, when I was driving I had to swerve to avoid [her]. By the time I had finished, I had ran out of gas.
Where do nuts go for a quick energy boost? The nearest Shell station.
What's the difference between a homeless person and a car?
Only one gets fuel.
I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.
Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.
What is the difference between white people and coal?
It’s bad for the environment to burn coal.
What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?
He went to the Shell station.
Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time, so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: Take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.