What's the hardest part of eating bald pussy? Pulling the diapers back up when you're done!
Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It got stuck in a crack.
Toilet paper cried across the road.
Are you wearing a diaper? Because your butt looks so saggy.
My sister just sits on the toilet with her iPad, then I go to do something at the sink and she says, "Bella, give me toilet paper!" Then I am annoyed, like super annoyed.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
The toilet having an argument with the toilet paper, the owner of the house had diarrhea, who's day was more shittier!?
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
What do lovely men and tampons have in common?
Both lick up the juices of the women they were made for.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.
A man with 20 dollars walked into Dave & Buster's. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands. He walked out without any clothes but still has his money.
Why is your mom's butt so smelly? Cause she wipes poorly.
I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."
What did the mouse say after its bath?
"I feel squeaky clean!"
My mom wanted me to brush my hair.
And I just told her that even pet animals don't like their hair brushed...
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
What do ants use when they're stinky?
Deodorant.
Person 1: Somebody farted.
Person 2: No, all I can smell is your breath.
What is the sweat between Dolly Parton's boobs?
Mountain Dew.
