Hygiene jokes

I ran out of bras, so I wore...

My grandma's underpants!

Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack.

I am having a shit and there[sic] nothing else to read.

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wiped his ass.

You smell!

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?

"I got stuck in a butt crack!"

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?

Kids won't eat broccoli.

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smell bad.

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".

The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.

What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?

Put the diapers back on.

How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.

What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!

What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?

So, it was you....

How do you make a tissue dance?

You put a little boogie in it.

You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

What do you say to a black midget?

Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.