Hygiene jokes

I was lip to lip yesterday, and now I can't get the cum out of my mouth.

What did the toilet paper say when he got stuck in a crack on the side walk?

"I got stuck in a butt crack!"

Why do women wear makeup and perfume?

Because they're ugly and smell bad.

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

Wiped his ass.

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?

Kids won't eat broccoli.

What disease do you get from shoving a dirty, rusty piece of metal up your ass? Tetanus.

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.

A girl and a boy were on a date. The boy kept farting. The girl asked, "What is wrong?!?". The boy replied, "Explosive diarrhea.". The girl said, "Ew".

The boy went to the bathroom, and the place exploded. The center of the explosion, the bathroom.

What do you do after you eat the softest pussy in the world?

Put the diapers back on.

How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.

What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!

What do you say to a black midget?

Wanna a shower? You look like you got splashed by a muddy puddle.

I'll put white in your smile.

When people say they get ho's: You don't get no ho's, the only ho's you get is in yo draws.

My brother thinks he's cool when he just SMELLS.

Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

'Cause it was stuck in the crack... *buttcrack*

The toothbrush says, "I have the worst job in the whole world."

The toilet paper behind him says, "Yeah, right."

What do you call sex with a hoover?

Clean sex.

Yo mama so fat, she has to bathe in the Pacific Ocean.