Hygiene jokes
Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.
The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."
She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"
What time is it when you need to go to the toilet?
Two-ply!
Why couldn't the toilet paper roll down the road?
My friend's 4-year-old daughter made up this joke.
What kind of poo should you put in your hair?
Shampoo.
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
What do girls and toilet roll have in common?
They both deal with a lot of crap.
Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Shhhhhhhhhh.
Shhhhhhhhhh who?
Shhhhhhhhhhampoo!
Why can't the toilet paper be cheeky?
It's between cheeks at the moment.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.
So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.
Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.
When Sara gets naked in the shower, she turns her taps on :)
My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.
What do butts say?
"Help me, I'm getting wiped clean!"
When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.
Hey guys, I use toilet paper.
Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”
The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”
Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)
Ahh, the coronavirus!
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.