Hygiene jokes

What do girls and toilet roll have in common?

They both deal with a lot of crap.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.

When a hedgehog finds poop, they put it in their mouths. They mix it with saliva until it's a foam, then rub it on themselves.

Hey guys, I use toilet paper.

My water was leaking, so I used Flex Tape. Now I don't know where to shower.

Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.

So this guy thought he was funny by pissing on the floor and not in the urinal.

Later on, I guess some kid ran into the bathroom because, well, he probably had to go, but yeah, he slipped and fell and hit his head on the urinal, so all in all it was a pretty good prank on his part.

Little Johnny’s father walks into the bathroom and catches him masturbating. He says, “Son, every time you do that, you kill an innocent baby.”

The next day, his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, “Bow your head, Dad. Can’t you see we’re having a funeral?”

Question: Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?

Answer: Because there was a... crack in it!!!! HAHAHAHAHA! :)

Ahh, the coronavirus!

Hey, stinks, you know why? 'Cause your butts dry!

What do you call a baby in the shower? A baby in the shower.

Why was the toilet angry?

Because everyone was pooping in his mouth :>

Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.

What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?

Defective rabies.

How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head and Shoulders in the glove box.

Ur mum smells like shit, yeah, so she sucks a man off and washing machine. Yo, don’t at me, yeah, you chicken breath.

Your mama's breath smells so bad, people can't wait for her to fart.

A guy is walking down the street when he almost steps in something. He looks down and says, "Looks like shit."

He crouches down and smells it, "Smells like shit."

He sticks his finger in, tastes it, "Tastes like shit."

He then smiles and says, "Well, good thing I didn't step on it!"

Why do you stink?

Because you haven't showered, tu, perro.