Humor
Kid: What is the biggest mistake you made in your life?
Parents: Go look above the bathroom sink.
Kid goes and looks, but then he realizes.
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
Define abnormal life.
Waking up every day living a sane life!
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RCXD (remote control explosive).
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
Memes
"Man, your jokes about homicide are totally killer!"
My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.
What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?
They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.
What is the coolest bath bomb for emos?
A toaster.
If I eat a poisonous potato, it attacks my immune system and I die.
But if I poison a poisonous potato, then eat it, then I won't die because the potato is already dead and can't attack my immune system.
Me: "Comment if you love yourself and give me a reason."
Friends: comments give reason.
Me: "Notice how I commented nothing."
Day later:
Mom: Let me see your TikTok.
Me: Shows her the video.
Mom: calls suicide.
JK, she just beat me for posting a video on her.
What do you call a bus full of transgender men? T-Mobile.
What do you call an emo kid's suicide live stream?
America's funniest home videos.
What happens when you make an asían girl squirt?
She charges you 10 cents for extra sauce.
Yo mama so ugly she made happy meals cry.
Why are mountains never serious?
Because they’re hill areas.
What do you call it when an orphan takes a family photo? A selfie.
These jokes are weak like the structure of the towers.
Guy 1: "Tell me a bad pun."
Guy 2: "Alright. What's the difference between a tuna fish, a piano, and a tube of glue?"
Guy 1: "Ok, that last one was random as heck. What is the difference?"
Guy 2: "You can tuna a piano, but you can't piano a tuna."
Guy 1: "Ok, where does the glue come in?"
Guy 2: "Ah, I knew you'd get stuck on that."