Humor
What is the speed limit for sex? 68, because if you go any faster, you’ll have to turn around.
I threw a lamp at a depressed kid and tried to brighten up his day.
What do you call a dwarf in a drawer?
Gay.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
Uranus? More like urine is gassy! (Uranus is urine, by the way.)
Why was the leper hockey game canceled?
It was because of a face-off in the corner.
What does a storm cloud wear under his raincoat? Thunderwear.
Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."
And the other friend says, "Butt he is."
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
A man walks into a forest and sees a girl crying. He asks her, "What is wrong?"
She replies, "I lost my family, my friends, and my home."
The man then unties his pants and says, "Then young lady, your day is about to get worse!"
How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?
Tell him that it is a confessional booth.
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
How do you know when your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.
If you don't like orphan jokes, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ON HERE??!!! WE DON'T ACCEPT YOU HERE!
If you saw an orphan, could you say where your parents at? And if they cry, just say, "hey here are your parents" then grab nothing. Perfect example.
Heard the Helen Keller single?
It’s called ERRRRRAGHHH!!!
The real reason Stephen Hawking died is because he tried to overclock his wheelchair.
Why didn't the skeleton go to prom?
He was dead. You fool. You fell for my trick. I'm very heartless.
Oh wait.
You fool!