Humor
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Hi, this is not a joke. Please like, or I will be verrrrrrry sad! -_-
My name has "anus" in it.
Doin (DYM 35).
What do you call an Eskimo stripper?
A frosty-tute.
So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?
Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?
You know when people say a joke about living?
That's because we are all living a joke.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
Once there was this kid that wanted to shower with his dad, so his dad said yes. Then he asked, "What is that?" and his dad said it's a chow chow train.
The next day, he wanted to shower with his mom, so she said yes. He asked again, "What is that?" and she said it was a tunnel with light.
The same day, he wanted to sleep with them, and they said yes.
In the middle of the night, he woke up and told his mom to turn on the light because the chow chow train is going in.
Krusty nut
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
"I'm sorry, Wendy, but I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
A daughter asked her mother how to spell penis. Her mom said, "You should have asked me last night. It was at the tip of my tongue."