Humor

Humor

Tuna

3 views ·

What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

What happened to the glue?

I knew you would get stuck on that!

Skeleton

2 views ·

What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "I've got a bone to pick with you!"

That was a real rib tickler. I've got a skele-TON more of the skele-PUNS!

Bird

7 views ·

Time for double joke Tuesday.

What is a bird's favorite letter?

A C gull.

So I won a round of CSGO with my team, then on VC, some kid trash talked me.

Kid: You're a dick, you know!

Me: And you're a pussy, you know?

Masturbation

193 views ·

Please folks, you can hit the thumbs up button on the ones you like. There is no need to repost.

Anyways,

Knock knock Who's there? Can I come in? Can I come in who? Can I Come In You!?

More often than not, I will cry when I masturbate. Some nights I'm a real tear jerker!

But on the nights and I smoke a lil pot and then masturbate, my dad ends up bugging me because I am a weed wacker.

How do you keep a dog from humping your leg? Pick him up and suck his dick.

How does Popeye keep his manly part from rusting? He sticks it in Olive Oil.

Snow White and the seven dwarfs are in the the tub feeling "HAPPY". Happy got out now they are fucking "GRUMPY".

What's worse than waking up and finding a "Penis" drawn on your forehead? Finding out it was "Traced".

If I had a rooster and you had a donkey and your donkey ate my rooster what would you have? 3 feet of my cock up your ass.

Did you know Batman was actually Black? Yeah he couldn't go a night with out Robyn!

Did you hear Gods Word Of The Day? Its Legs! Now lets go out and spread them.

What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cunt-sway-low

Whats worse than sucking 25 oysters out of your Grandmas Pussy? Realizing you only put in 15.

  • 3
    • Humor memes

    Cat

    7 views ·

    The cat ran across the road when the car swerved. It killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut. The cat survived it all. The cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car...

    The cat still died, why?

    It had a Catastrophic Catcident.

    Dad

    32 views ·

    Kid: Dad, I want Santa to give me an iPhone.

    Indian poor dad: Son, Santa is deaf.

    Kid: No, he is not. I saw him on TV yesterday.

    Indian poor dad: Oh, actually, I asked him for a new wife. Maybe he is wearing AirPods.

    Kid: You are my Santa, daddy.

    Indian poor dad: Pull down your pants, son.

    Kid: It's not an Apple product.

    Indian poor dad: It's a banana.

    Mum

    15 views ·

    Your mum lolololollollollololollolololllol! Find her reboot card lmfao lolololol.

    Cat

    94 views ·

    There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!

    Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!

    This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.

    Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,

    He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!

    I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!

    Meanwhile...

    there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....

    Easy pickings...

    Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,

    DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!

    Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie

    The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...

    LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...

    every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)

    WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx