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Mama

  • Yo Mama so fat, she has a Twinkie inside of a Twinkie inside of her fat ass motherfucking belly button!

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    Jesus

  • How did Jesus kill himself?

    He fell from his bike.

    How many times did he die?

    Once on a bike and once when he fell from a cloud in Heaven.

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    Cow

  • Knock knock.

    Who is there?

    Cows go.

    Cows go who?

    No, cows go moooooooooooo, not whooooooooooooooooooooo!

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    Priest

  • Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?

    A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.

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    Time

  • This one time I said to a person that they are dry, then I was wet (ba dum tiss).

    My bully said I have to shut up. I said, "Shut down" (ba dum tiss).

    Mole

  • Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.

    It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.

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    Tuna

  • What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?

    You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.

    What happened to the glue?

    I knew you would get stuck on that!