Humor

Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)

I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.

Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.

What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?

One's a fucking tree.

What do sperm say while just in?

"We need to go deeper."

Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?

Answer: European (You're-a-peein')

What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?

Afgan-I-Stand.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

They don't know where home is. Sorry for the dark joke :>

This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.

Wanna hear a racist joke?...

Donald Trump.

This website hahahahahahaha!

In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.

What’s red and cries?

A skinned baby in a bag of salt.

"The rise of atheism is going to lead to a break down of social morals and lead to all kinds of filth, including an increase in child abuse," said the village priest.

The village scientists did some fact checking. In prison, they found roughly 70% of child abusers were hyper religious before committing the crimes, and another 20% converted to religions to look 'remorseful'. The remaining 10% preferred not to say. They presented the findings to the media.

"Scientists slander good religious folk and ignore the weight of evidence!"

"Is Science biased against religion? You decide in this survey," they reported.

The village priest is living at his majesty's convenience and tells the others he committed armed robbery.

"Why is this a joke? It's not even funny!" said the person reading this, breaking the forth wall.

What is funny is you got to the end of this post and didn't cringe. Why not?

I find bananas very appeeling.

Why is 5 afraid of 7? Because 6, 7, 8.

Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.

What does a skeleton tile his roof with?

Shin-gles!

What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?

A god.

Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.

Mom: OMG, why son?

Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.

Think about it, then spread LMAO.

What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?

GAY