Humor
What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?
Afgan-I-Stand.
What’s the difference between a mushroom and a tree?
One's a fucking tree.
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is. Sorry for the dark joke :>
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I’m blind.
Mom: Exactly.
I asked someone why they were crying. They told me that they had to abort their twins.
Then someone yelled "DAMN DOUBLE HOMICIDE!"
My cousin called me ugly.
Well, I'm pretty sure 90% of her looks could be wiped away with a Kleenex.
Let’s try and make this joke the most liked and commented on this website. (Ps, you may need to say it out loud to get it.)
I went to a zoo and there were no people and there was one dog. It was a shih tzu.
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
What do sperm say while just in?
"We need to go deeper."
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
This website hahahahahahaha!
In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
I rub lipstick on my forehead to make up my mind.
What do you call a smart booty?
A wise-crack!
Why did the terrorist masturbate and smoke weed on the plane?
He was told to high-jack it.
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Shin-gles!