Humor

69, 420, 21.

Deez nutz!

You were tricked, loser. ;]

What does the ocean do to its friends?

It waves.

(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)

I ran out of bras, so I wore...

My grandma's underpants!

A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.

What is a "dad?"

He told me that he was in a wheelchair, and I asked, "Oh, wheely?"

What's the only punch that can knock out a 21 year old?

A Sandy Hook.

The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.

Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!

Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?

Because he fell off his wheelchair.

If a person in a wheelchair runs you over, can you call it a "hit and can't run?"

Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.

Lettuce pray.

Yo mama is so fat that when she put on a yellow dress, people called her "taxi."

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

"Ash."

"Ash who?"

"Bless you!"

You want a pizza from me!!!!

What do you call a moose that doesn't want to be known? Anonymoose.

What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?

"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"