Humor
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
How many people can jump higher than a mountain? None. Mountains can't jump.
No more toilet paper jokes, please.
Knock, knock.
*takes out penis*
Who is there?
Butthole 😎
Why does a chicken cross the road?
To poop and pee in the potty!
Memes
The world is ending from: China
What did the cancer patient get for Valentine's Day? Candy wigs.
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms!
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
The only time rape jokes are funny is never.
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
1st Person: Do you want to know something funny?
2nd Person: Yeah, sure!
1st Person: I don’t know, I’m German!
69, 420, 21.
Deez nutz!
You were tricked, loser. ;]
I ran out of bras, so I wore...
My grandma's underpants!
What does the ocean do to its friends?
It waves.
(*Sorry I wasn't making any jokes for a while, I was getting sick of this thing.*)
I would tell you a joke about pizza,
but it's too cheesy.
What did one negative say to the other negative? Together we can make a positive.
A father and son duo are sitting at a table, eating breakfast. The father looks at the child and says, "I'm hungry." The child looks at the father and replies, "Hi Hungry, I'm Son." The father calls his father and asks why he was named Hungry.
What is a "dad?"