Humor
Atoms are untrustworthy little critters. They make everything up!
Brian was shopping at a mall. He hopped onto an escalator. Next to him were two people having an argument. Eventually, one of them pulled out a pocket knife threatening to stab the other. Brian murmured "Well, that escalated quickly..."
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
What do your BF and the Twin Towers have in common?
They both never get erect.
Your forehead is so big NASA thought it was Mars.
Memes
Man: Okay, tell me a joke without the expense of anyone's feelings.
Me: Okay, so an Asian...
"Abortion jokes are like the babies; they never get old."
If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"
My dog once went to Uranus. 🐶🤣🤣🤣
You know, because dogs sniff Uranus? 😂😂😂
Why did the Carthaginian say Rome lost the war?
Because they were just roman around.
This joke is so funny, I'll bet you greened (grinned).
When someone got the ghost in them, sound in the Priest Busters.
When something strange and it ain't no who you gonna call? Priest Busters.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and The Statue Of Liberty? The Statue of Liberty stands for something! 😂
Haha joke haha!
You failed Helen Keller's speech class? It's okay, she's not a very good speaker.
What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?
"I don’t have a mama."
When an orphan takes a photo, it’s also a family portrait!
Btw, if people find these offensive, why are you here? Why are you searching orphan jokes anyway?
The doctor told me my temperature was exactly 98.6 degrees. I felt relieved until he said, “Celsius.”
A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.
Can bees fly in the rain?
Not if they don't have their yellow jackets!