Humor
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
People in Africa have earth, fire, air, but never water.
Memes
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
What do you think was going through the heads of the 9/11 victims on floor 43?
Floor 44.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
Stop with the 9/11 jokes.
They're not gonna fly.
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
What do you call an ass on a beach?
Sandy cheeks!
What do you call a booty that can sing?
A crack-up!
If LAUGHTER is the best medicine, BLESSEDBRIAN'S JOKES are the disease.
I’m trying to see things from LEO’S perspective... but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES fishing?
MC Bass-Drop.
Why?
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered, "Y?"
Ever heard of ligma? Ligma ba--