Humor
I took a bite of my lunch. “Is that a sand witch?!”
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
What weapon does a fat Jedi use?
A heavy saber.
How did the blind girl get a date?
She said it was love at first sight.
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
Roses are red, my name is Dan...
TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. 😂😂😂
Why is the iPhone 7 not a smartphone?
It doesn't know jack.
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.
It never gets old.
You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.
Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."
I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.
"Kaka" means poop so... use "kaka" in your jokes rather than "poop." It is more funny. KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAAKAK
What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)
Rape jokes aren't funny.
Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)
I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.
(Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)
(Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])
What letter is really hot? T
C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK
ME SExUAL SRrY LoL
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?
I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.
Why does the president take so long to deliver each sentence?
He’s just Biden his time.