Boot

Stephen Hawking said God isn’t real, and the Priest put a boot on his tire. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Memes

Van

Roses are red, my name is Dan...

TDM, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!

Nun

Three nuns went up to Mother Teresa and said, "Mother Teresa, we would not like to be nuns anymore." Mother Teresa said, "Okay, but first you have to do something unholy." So they leave and come back three days later. The first one says, "Mother Teresa, I did something unholy. I took a little kid's bike." Mother Teresa says, "Okay, drink from the holy water and you are free to go." The second nun walks up, upset, "I did something worse than her. I slept with a married man." The last nun walks up and says, "I did something worse than all of them." Mother Teresa says, "Oh god, oh gosh, what is it?" And the third nun says, "I peed in the holy water."

Cancer

I love it when cancer hits like a ton of bricks. The best part is when it kills people.

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  • Poop

    "Kaka" means poop so... use "kaka" in your jokes rather than "poop." It is more funny. KAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKKAKAAKAK

    Mitosis

    What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)

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  • Alphabet

    Dang... if I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put D IN U ;)

    I only know there are 25 letters in the alphabet, I don't know Y.

    (Me: How many letters are in the alphabet?) -- (Friend: 11- T-H-E-- A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T)

    (Me: There are 20 letters in the alphabet, right?) -- (Crush: No, there is actually 26.) -- (Me: oooOoh, I forgot u r a qt! So its acdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz?) -- (Crush: You forgot the D) -- (Me: That's not needed yet ;])

    What letter is really hot? T

    C = cOCK O = CoCK C = COcK K = COCk COCK = cock cock = COCK

    ME SExUAL SRrY LoL

    Octopus

    What do you get when you cross an octopus with a Mexican?

    I don't know, but man can it pick lettuce.

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  • Day

    A salamander came by me the other day and he AXOLOTL questions. Ba dum tss!!!

    Firework

    My dad said, "Where's Pickles, the family cat?" I said, "I'm sorry to say he's in the sky." He said, "Oh, I see, he passed away." No, I strapped him to 20 fireworks!

    Mama

    Yo mama so stupid, she made Patrick run away because he thought it was contagious! 🀣

    Emoji

    jokes got me like : πŸ˜‚ Face with Tears of Joy Emoji - Emojipedia https://emojipedia.org β€Ί face-with-tears-of-joy A yellow face with a big grin, uplifted eyebrows, and smiling eyes, each shedding a tear from laughing so hard. Widely used to show something is funny or...

    Pikachu

    Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.

    How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!