Humor
I have no dad, no milk, and no mom, so that means no tits, like if you can relate.
Yo forehead so big it touches yo neck.
Me: The last time I used Duolingo was when the dinosaurs went extinct.
Duolingo: Lemme send my twins 2 go 2 ur houze (I got sideways8 twins)
9/11 jokes are that deadly not even the towers could hold themselves up.
Everyone knows why 6 is scared of 7, cuz 7 8 9.
But why does 10 have PTSD?
Cuz it’s between 9/11.
Memes
I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...
Oh, you just got owned, like my ancestors.
What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Knock, knock. Who's there? Wakanda? Wakanda who? WAKANDA ENDING IS THIS?
Stephen Hawking went on a date last night.
She left after 15 minutes, complaining she didn't like his tone.