Humor
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
...
People who make puns always get pun-ched by people.
Why did the man die of the actor's performance?
The performance was unbeLIVEable!
Memes
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
What is the thirstiest ocean in the world?
The Gulf of Mexico lol!
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
You Poker Face.
What do you call a PEIS?
What separates snowmen from snow-women?
Snow balls.
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
Two skeletons meet at the graveyard at noon.
"What the heck are you doing here?"
"I couldn't sleep."
I still remember my granddad's last words,
"Are you still holding the ladder?"
It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Who tells the best chicken jokes?
Comedi-hens!
What does the right eye say to the left eye?
Between you and me, something smells!
I once asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite... He said, "NaBrO."
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.