Humor

I still remember my granddad's last words,

"Are you still holding the ladder?"

It's really great that you can make fun of orphans, 'cause what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!

"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O!'"

I’m in a wheelchair and I can do stand-up comedy, oh wait...

What do you call a prostitute in a wheelchair?

Hot wheels.

This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.

So, me and my girlfriend that I just got 7 weeks ago, we’re in class. We had this sub named Mrs. Bellatrix.

We both raised our hands and she called on both of us.

Me: First of all, are we in kindergarten? We can’t be doing 4x4 kinda stuff.

Leah: And also, are you from Harry Potter?

Brrr, it's fucking cold outside, aye? What do you guys want for Christmas? A sweet video game? Maybe a cool action figure? Oh, how about the latest phone!

Who me? Oh, I guess... I wish snow could melt as fast as the snowflakes that downvote good jokes! Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!

I was in class doing sex education. We were learning about sexual stereotypes.

My teacher turns to the class and asks, "If anyone could tell him what a sexual stereotype was?"

So I raised my hand and said, "Asians have small penis." He looked at me and said, "Very good, but I was looking for a definition."

Haha, you just saw sex!

When a Muslim dies, he gets 72 virgins.

It's the same thing with priests, except the virgins are children.

I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a campfire and shouted out "Hot Wheels!"

I once saw an orphan... I decided to ask them a simple question... "Hey! Where is your family?"

They didn't reply.

I kept asking them. They started crying. I started laughing. They ran away...

What do you call a AK-47 that lost 1 point?

An AK-46.

Me: Knock knock.

My sister: Who's there?

Me: I eat mop.

My sister: I eat mop who?

My mind: I eat my poo.

My sister getting it.

Am I considered a cannibal because I told my mom that Grandma's ashes were sugar?

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Oh wait...

A morbid joke would be what's going on in my mind.

Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.

Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.