Humor
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?"
She replied, "Two or three."
Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
I find that a lot of butts CRACK me up.
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
Why was the fart on Kickstarter? He just needed some gas.
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
So last week I gave my blind friend a cheese grater. The next two weeks he told me that was the most violent book he has ever read.
Why are there only 363 days on an orphan's calendar?
They don't have Father's Day and Mother's Day.
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
What happens when skeletons score points in a game?
They get a bone-us.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
I don’t believe in reincarnation now, and I didn’t believe in it when I was a hamster.
—Shane Richie, British actor
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
...
Yo mama is so ugly, she is the reason Slenderman has no eyes.
Why did the tangerine copy off other people's work?
Because the tangerine was unORANGEinal!