Humor
Two friends are talking and one says, "I had a good day today, I ran into my ex." The other guy replies, "How is that good?" The friend says, "I was in my car."
All my jokes are cries for help.
INCLUDING THIS ONE.
A blind woman told me I had a big penis yesterday.
I think she was pulling my leg.
I don't like telling nine eleven jokes, because they always crash and burn.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
I was gonna do a school shooter joke, but it was aimed at younger audiences.
This is not a joke, but if your uncle tells you, "Bend over, touch your toes, I'll show you where the monster goes," don't do it, hehehehehe.
"9/11" or just "7-Eleven" to a Mexican person.
How can you tell that a website was made by an orphan?
It doesn’t have a home page.
When her head game is so strong, she sucks the chromosome right out of you.
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
RIP Candace.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
What do a priest and a Christmas tree have in common? They both like fairies sitting on them.
What’s an orphan’s least favorite event? Their birthday!
What's the difference between meat and fish?
If you beat your fish, it'll die.
Bro, your humor is so bad I bet you would laugh at this.
A B 💿.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor? You nail its other hand to the floor.
What's brown and hairy? A bear.
What's brown, hairy, and is in love with Ethan Herbst? Arij.