Humor
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
Your race's favorite Star Wars Characters:
Arab...Admiral Ackbar (Allahu Akbar)
East Asian...Qui-Gon Jinn (Ching-Chong-Wing-Wong)
Jew...Rey (Ray)
Black...BB-8 (BBC)
Italian...Jabba the Hutt (Pizza Hut)
German...Admiral Piett (Hitler)
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R.I.P. Queen Elizabeth II. 1926-2022.
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
Memes
I have a fat ass.
"Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner, chocolate's made." (Point to your boobs, vagina/crouch area, and then to your butt area in sync with words.)
What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
120 pounds.
A blind man once told me he smokes a lot because he has nothing to look forward to. Well, let's just say that I see his point.
Lol, I have no life :)
What’s the difference between a kid with cancer and a dark humor joke?
They never get old.
Huh, I'm really pissed off. No matter how many jokes I make, no one likes them. 😭😭:'(:':😔😔😿💔💔👇👇:(
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Oliver.
Oliver who?
Oliver jokes don’t exist! 👹
How do you save your wife from drowning?
Take your foot off her neck.
Deja-poo.
The sense or feeling you have dealt with this crap in the past.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
Boy: Can I go to the bathroom?
Teacher: If you sing the ABCs.
Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNORSTUVWXYZ!
Teacher: Where’s the P?
Boy: In my pants! Lol. That’s all mates! Have a good day! (Or night)
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!