Humor

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana?

A slipper.

I'm not saying you're stupid.

But you're the reason plastic bags come with the warning, "Do not place over head!"

The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.

When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.

What do you call a bee that produces milk? Booby.

Two friends are arguing and one friend says, "Jason Warhis is not afraid of water and not ifs, ands, or buts about it."

And the other friend says, "Butt he is."

My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........

IMAGINE!

What did one Geodude say to the other Geodude?

Let’s rock!

Banana!

Q: What does encyclopedia mean by cut them in triple?

A: Encyclopedia, more like "An Cyclone Media!"

Me: Dad, my phone is broken.

Dad: How?

Me: I clicked the home button, but I'm still at school.

Dad: Stupid.

Man, I had a joke, but it left and never came back.

Aloneness is not the joke, it's unfortunately my reality.

I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! 😌

I reached into my pocket and pulled out a rectal thermometer and thought,

"Some asshole has my pen!"

What do you call a Turk eating turkey?

A cannibal.

A Mario & Luigi joke.

What are the Mario bros' view on child support?

Mario: The parents are obligated to provide for the child and help them the best they could.

Luigi: LMAO I GOTTA GO!

I did a ton of work, a skele-ton.

What's the one upside to being an orphan?

You never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

Why does Lincoln like Ronnie Anne?

She is the only one that calls me "lamo."

Mr. Smith lived in an apartment. In the apartment, he went to the elevator and went to the 16th floor. Then he went to the 21st floor by 5 stairs every morning. Why did he do that?

Because he was too short! So he pressed the highest button he could and walked to his apartment.