Humor
Why did the cowboy die with his boots on??
He didn’t want to stub his toe when he kicked da bucket 😂🤣👌🏻👌🏻.. knee slapper
At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
Three men walk into a bar. You would think the 3rd one would have ducked! 😅
Elmo in 2022 is called "Tickle My Balls Elmo."
Ligma.
Balls.
September 11, bring your plane to work day.
What's an Asian's favorite food place?
Answer: Petco
If an orphan takes a selfie, isn't it basically a family portrait?
Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.
A man can form Jupiter girls came from Venus, and other genders came right from Uranus.
Teacher: "People with depression never get anywhere in life."
Student 1: "My mom has depression, but she died."
Student 2: "My sister has depression and she's going to therapy."
Student 3: "My dad has depression, and he's doing REALLY well."
Your forehead is so big that it was used as a billboard.
One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one, then he/she should stand up.
After a minute, a boy stands up.
The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.
The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
What happens when Stephen Hawking dies?
The Windows shutdown sound plays.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
What do you call a cow with no legs? (Ground Beef!) No, a cow! The absence of legs does not change the fact that the species is still a cow! What do you call a DOG with no legs? (A dog?) It doesn't matter what you call it, as it's never going to come.
What’s the difference between KFC and a woman on her period?
One’s finger-licking good and the other is just a fast food restaurant.
Roses are red, you have a nice lip, it would look better if it was on my tit.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.