Humor
Dr. Seuss dark jokes.
Hey there little mister, I'm dating your sister!
My mom and dad: KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS TO EAT! Me: What's for dinner? Mom and Dad: Food.
The next day KIDS COME DOWNSTAIRS FOR FOOD! My brother and sister: What's for dinner? Me: Food ;-;
"A N N O Y I N G - D O G - R O B - Y O U R - S A F E."
Me: Knock knock. Bestie: Who's there? Me: Ben. Bestie: Ben Dover? Me: No, Ben vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx. Bestie: Omg how did I forget, hi vuyictrbjovtfcybugxrrx!
Yo mama so rich,
her blood type is 24 karat GOLD!
Memes
That shirt's very becoming on you.
If I were on you, I’d be coming too.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Good morning everybody, well I could say that unlike emo kids.
Did you ever see any white men drowning in the Atlantic Ocean?
Yeah, it went on and on.
What do you call a tall terrorist?
Osama Bin Laden.
Me explaining my child: when your mom is sitting on a table during her period, it's called the periodic table.
Girl: I’m so in love with you!
Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.
Girl: What’s the ijk?
Boy: I’m just kidding.
Why are you wearing a cap? Oh, I know, to cover your hairline!
What do you call an Indian that came home late?
A curfew muncher.
Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?
Doctor: Yep.
Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.
Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.
+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.
+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.
+1 Comet.
I gave a blind kid a gun. I told him it was a hair dryer.
A male unexploded landmine was in love with a female unexploded landmine, and he said to her...
"Hey, baby, we should bang sometime!"
What is a joke that will never end even though you want it to?
For me, life.
Four kids at my school tried suicide and failed. They are now known as the Suicide Squad.