Humor
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
How do chickens 🐔 get stronger and stronger?
They egg-xercise every day!
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
Want to hear a joke about construction?
Sorry, I'm still working on it.
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
What do you call a man with no hands? Clapless.
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
My dad, unfortunately, passed away when we couldn’t remember his blood type...
His last words to us were, “Be positive!”
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
All zodiac signs have a hair style, but cancer is just a one-way thing.
Q: Why is China so bad at baseball?
A: They already ate the bat.
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?
An H2hoe.
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
How do you get rid of butterflies in your stomach?
Stop eating caterpillars.
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."