Humor

"Trump is Putin, America first!" hahaha

At weddings, old people poke me and say, "You're next!" So I do the same to them at funerals.

What did Stephen Hawking's wife say to him having sex? "You're wheelie good at this!"

Would an orphan's family photo be considered a selfie?

Here is a good joke: asking for consent before sex.

Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...

"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."

Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)

If you humped a whale, it would humpback.

What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.

I don't get why people don't like my abortion jokes. Do they have a stick up their ass? Wait, that's the other hole.

What’s the difference between an onion and a photo of a dead relative? Nothing, they both make you cry when you look at it.

Q: What is the difference between two bottles of Whiskey and 2 pretty feminist girls?

A: You don't leave the bottles in the cold and dark forest after you and your 9 friends are finished with them.

What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!

WAIT! I remember how the joke goes! These two cannibals are hanging out eating lunch, which is a clown, you see, 'cause they're cannibals and one cannibal says to the other cannibal, "Does this taste funny to you?"

I’d tell you a Chinese joke, but it’s wong.

What was the drug addict's favorite nursery rhyme?

I'm a little crack pot short and stout, put that crack pipe in my mouth, sell my body or sell my couch, get that lighter and smoke me out!

Yo mama so slow, she took nine months to make the joke. Thank god mine only took 6.

If two eagles make a baby and two sparrows make a baby, what makes no baby?

Two swallows.

Papyrus: Well come to the underground.

Sans: How was your falls?

Papyrus: G-g-good luck eve-ever ge-getting o-out.

Sans: Give me your balls!

What's better: nailing Jesus or getting nailed?

Depends on who's sucking.