Everything is made in China, except babies... They are made in Vachina.
Humor
Stephen Hawking tried comedy.
His first line ruined it. "You know what I can't stand? Let me rephrase that, you know what? I can't stand."
An astronomer walked up to me and I was like, "Give me some space..."
Are you getting the funnies?
Have you ever stepped in Stephen Hawking's house?
Neither has he. 😂😂
What is the best power that man can do? They can move the mountain with their tongue.
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
Why is Stephen Hawking in hell?
He couldn't get his wheelchair up the stairway to heaven.
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
When you get a pop-up book of the Qur'an and it just explodes as soon as you turn the page XD.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
Why is he ourple?
My crush: OMG, my dog just died!😭😭😭😭😭
Me: Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. I am here for you!
My crush: I have a boyfriend...🙄
Me: Yeah well, I have a dog.
Why did Helen Keller have a yellow leg?
Her dog was blind, too.
Where is an elephant’s penis?
On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"9/11"
"9/11 Who?"
"I thought you'd never forget..."
