Humor
Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”
Joe Mama!
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Why was the Milky Way remembered...
Because it's... DELICIOUS!
What did the rapist say to his victim?
"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
Don’t orphans work at Dollar Tree?
Cause it’s a family business.
What's the difference between a pizza & a person?
A pizza doesn't scream when I try to shove it into an oven...
What do you call a lying Mexican?
Pinocchico.
Your hairline is so bad that it makes Lebron's hairline look normal.
I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it's perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. But he's still making fun of me.
What do you call depressed Sesame Street?
Emo's World.
A man was having a dream. He dreamt about a mystical creature that was commonly known as the god of toast.
When the man woke up, he turned to tell his wife about the dream. When he delivers the "toast god" punchline, his wife shrugged as she faced the opposite direction to the man.
The man turned around also and started sobbing as he realised his marriage is in shambles.
Why do you joke about Helen Keller?
She was a good person, and she learned sign language and learned to talk. So why DO YOU MAKE FUN OF HER!
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"
What did they do with Michael Jackson when he died?
He got so many plastic surgeries that they melted him down into legos and let kids play with him for a change.
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"