Humor
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Why did an old man fall in a well? Because he couldn’t see that well!
Why did the actor fall through the floorboards? They were going through a stage!
Why did a scarecrow win a Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field!
Why are peppers the best at archery? Because they habanero!
What did the duck say after she bought chapstick? Put it on my bill!
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did the three-legged dog say when he walked into a saloon? “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw!”
How do you tell the difference between a bull and a cow? It is either one or the udder!
What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint!
What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is very heavy, the other is a little lighter!
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
I apologise for this joke lmfaooo, and you have probably heard this banger before, anyways;
What is the difference between a priest and a zit? 👀 The zit waits till you are 13 to come on your face 🤧
All of you guys in this orphanage are ABCDEFGHIJK.
What's that? said the orphans.
Attractive, brilliant, cute, darling, elegant, funny, gorgeous, and hot.
What's the IJK?
I'm just kidding! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Stephen Hawking.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
What's the difference between a baby and a mansion?
I've never seen the inside of a mansion.
Somebody stole my joke.
So I stole their spinal cord.
Dark jokes are like Antarctica.
They're cold.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
You're so fat, no one was laughing, but the floor was cracking!
Do you have a shovel in your back pocket?
Why?
'Cause I’m digging that ass.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.