What was the last thing that went through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Humor
What would be a good job for a fat person? A four-chin teller!
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit!"
TommyInnit is a joke.
Have you heard of Imagine Dragons (the band)? Imagine dragging these nuts across your face.
Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.
Okay not a depression joke but... what’s worse than 10 babies in 1 bucket?
1 baby in 10 buckets.
The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.
My sister thinks she's so smart. She said only an onion can make you cry, so I brought the belt out, and she started crying.
What do you call a blind person on a date? A blind date.
One day a father went out for some cold beer and threw the 18 pack in the back seat on top of the infant in the car seat. Fortunately, it was light beer.
Why didn't the cows eat the lemon grass?
It made sour milk.
Morbid jokes are just like girlfriends. Not everyone gets it.
When it's April Fool's Day, go to an orphan and say, "Their parents should come back!"
Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?
A. Denephew.
Why don’t skeletons ever go trick or treating?
Because they have no body to go with.
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
Did you know that graveyards are the most popular place in the world?
Yeah, people are just DYING to get in there...
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Cakatoo."
"Cakatoo who?"
"So, you're a Rooster now?"
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
