Humor
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
bradley
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
I piss on blind kids and tell them it's raining.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
I guess that corn is a-maize-ing.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
Easy! Peasy! Lemon Squeezy! 🍋😂
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.