Humor
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
What's the difference between a duck?
One of its legs are both the same!
What do you call German Music in Spanish? Españodelling.
What is a chicken's favorite day of the week? Fri-day.
Where do ducks poop out of?
From their buttquack.
A few days ago, I phoned up the spiritual leader of Tibet, and he sent me a large goat with a long neck. Turns out I phoned Dial-a-Llama.
When Knife tells Annoying Orange, "I'm trying something new," Annoying Orange said, "Oh no, are you having a midknife crisis?" and then Annoying Orange laughs.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him…
What happened when the American broke his arm?
He went broke.
Why did Hitler kill people? Because it was funny! 🥵
I told my new girlfriend that my mother is deaf.
So she would have to speak loudly and slowly.
I told my mother that my new girlfriend is disabled. Now we wait.
I got caught doing donuts in the parking lot, and I know what y'all are thinking.
Who names their dog Donuts?
A drunk walks out of a bar late at night and sees a nun walking past on the footpath. He utters something hateful to himself as he begins running, building momentum before launching himself at the nun, catching her with a massive superman punch to the back of the head, knocking her tumbling brutally to the pavement.
He proceeded with a swift kicking to the nun's ribs and spine before grabbing the nun by the scruff of her habit and lifting her limp to her feet till face to face. Looking the nun dead in her eyes with menace, the drunk victoriously growled, "You're not so bloody tough tonight, are ya, Batman?"
What do you call a crowd of horny white women?
A field of cotton waiting to be picked.
Big black ball sacks.
What does the cross guard say to the cows crossing the road?
Mooooooooooo along!
Kid to daddy: "Why do they call it Uranus?"
Daddy to kid: "Cause, son, it's Uranus."
Why the f was my shooting joke removed? It was funny, and this is obviously a website for morbid humor. WTF, I mean, worstjokesever.com. Come on...
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
What does a nearsighted gynaecologist and a puppy have in common?
Wet noses.