Humor
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
What's the only gun that doesn't exist in Africa?
A water gun.
I was going to make a chemistry joke. But it looks like I won’t get a reaction :)
Hi, I...
Sorry, my cat touched my computer. I don't know how to delete.
The joke is that if you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
Sorry guys, it's a hard word to spell.
Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"
Everyone: You gotta pay the cost to be the boss.
Germans: You gotta be the caust to be the boss.
Who is funnier, me or Gwen?
Comedy is so woke these days. You can't make fun of any disadvantaged group.
Except people with Alzheimer's. They'll just forget you made the joke in five minutes anyway.
I was gonna tell a memory loss joke, but I forgot it.
What's the difference between my girlfriend and my sister?
There is no difference.
Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.
Three blondes were walking on a path. The first blonde said, “Hey, look, there are deer tracks!” The second blonde said, “No way, those are totally duck tracks.” The third blonde said, “Nuh uh, those are...” Then they got hit by a train.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
Why did the guy's birthday party stink?
Because he was turning farty!
Why are orphans so famous for their jokes?
Because everyone says go big or go home!
Two wind turbines are standing in a field.
One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The other says, "Well... I'm a huge metal fan..."
ROBERT LEWANDISNEY SONG
Give me freedom. Give me fire. Give me contract, Or I retire.
Jog all day, Out of UCL now. FC Barcelona, I need you now.
Villarreal defenders, They surround me. Big submarines, All around me.
I get upset. Call my agent. I want money. I’m impatient.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!