Humor
What do you call a pregnant slave? A two for one deal.
What’s a sheep’s favorite fruit?
A baaaaaaaanaaaaaana!
Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand store!
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
I am trying to re-comment something that used to be on here, but is no longer on here.
Here are some rules to make a good joke:
1: Don't say “my life.”
2: Proofread your joke and make sure people can read it/have good grammar in it.
3: And don’t repost things (although this last one is hypocritical because this was me trying to repost something, but it is still a good rule to go by).
The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.
Lady: What did you do?
Man: I took a day off...
A white dude walks up to a Muslim and says, "So you're an Indian?" and the Muslim says, "No brotha, I'm not 7-Eleven, I'm 9/11."
A blind man walks into a woman's bar and asks the person next to him if she would like to hear a blonde joke. The woman says, "Before you tell your joke, you should know the bartender is blonde and has a shotgun, the bouncer is blonde and has a baseball bat, the two playing music are blonde and have pistols. Do you still want to tell that joke, cowboy?" He thought for a second and said, "Not if I have to explain it five times."
I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.
I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.
I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."