Humor
What's blue and doesn't weigh much?
Light blue.
What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?
Beat It.
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
What did the salad say to pineapple?
"Lettuce be friends."
Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?
To drown herself.
Memes
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
bradley
What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
The homepage.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.
I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.
The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Spell.
Spell who?
W. H. O.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home.
Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."
My grandpa unplugged the AC, so I unplugged his life support.
Why do orphans hate knock knock jokes?
Because there is never anyone at the door.
I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."
What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)
Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? I would too if all I heard was "daaaaaaah!"