Humor

Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up.

When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

A girl named Sally has no arms.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

She never answered...

I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.

I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."

If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?

Where do fish keep their money?

In a riverbank!

Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.

I came here to laugh.

- Yo mama is so fat, when she wears a yellow dress, people yell "Taxi!"

- Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.

- Yo mama is so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.

- Yo mama is so old, she knew Burger King when he was still a prince.

- Yo mama is so poor, she can't even afford to pay attention.

How do you know a hippie is on her period?

Her socks are missing.

How do you know she's off?

Her socks are tye-dye.

What's Pee-Wee Herman's favorite Michael Jackson song?

Beat It.

Imagine Africans during a solar eclipse...

If I'm ugly, at least I'm not you.

What do you call a cup with a handle?

A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(

What's blue and doesn't weigh much?

Light blue.

Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!

What did the salad say to pineapple?

"Lettuce be friends."

Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.

I guess you could say Stephen Hawking is a dead meme.

Why did Kayla go to the river when she was sad?

To drown herself.