Humor

Three nuns had to go before Mother Superior. The first one goes up to her and she says, "Have you sinned?" "Yes, I have, Mother. I have stolen a bicycle." Okay, said Mother Superior. "Say 100 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water." Up comes nun number two and she says she has sinned. "She slept with a married man." So Mother Superior says, "Okay, say 500 Hail Marys and dip your hand in the holy water and go on your way." The third nun comes up and she says, "I peed in the holy water!" 🤣😂🤣😂😁😁🌈

What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.

Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.

Man: I got fired from my job at the calendar factory.

Lady: What did you do?

Man: I took a day off...

The only time rape jokes are okay; is when they aren't forced.

I was going to share my joke about anal, but, fuck it, it was inappropriate.

What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?

"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."

I tried writing with a dull pencil the other day, but there was no point.

I met a rock the other day. He was a very gneiss guy.

Q. What does Kenny get when he hugs his mom?

A. A boner.

Yo mama's so fat, when she skips a meal, the stock market drops.

Why does dark humor love orphans? Because the humor killed their parents.

Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.

Hey, what is the difference between a painting and a wife?

Only the wife was hung up.

A girl named Sally has no arms.

"KNOCK KNOCK"

She never answered...

Where do fish keep their money?

In a riverbank!

I came here to laugh.

If there is a divorce in West Virginia, are they still brother and sister?

I walked into the party and the host asked me if I would like a slice of pie.

I responded "yes," and he said: "okay, 14159."

Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.