Humor

How do you blindfold a woman?

Put a windshield in front of them.

Have you ever observed the depression cycle of a snail?

It's pretty much a downward spiral.

A depressed kid wanted to give me a high five.

I just left him hanging.

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.

Satanism is such an ugly word. I prefer the term, "red skin appreciation."

Teacher: "I'll call your mother."

Orphan: "Go on, see if she picks up."

What do you call a person who doesn't masturbate?

A liar.

ADHD stands for Attention Deficit Hey Donut.

Why did the cat cross the road?

To make a catastrophy on the road.

When you can’t see your adopted joke pop up, it’s the same as asking your adopted friend where their parents are and never finding it.

"Doctor, I'm shrinking!"

"Well, you'll just have to be a little patient."

Just give him a smooch it’s better than the cooch - Dream

It was just a prank, and stop calling our humor "plane." In our opinion, it's fire.

I never do dark jokes, but when I feel like it, I prefer orphan jokes, 'cause they're the safest option. I mean, what are they gonna do, call their parents?

Spell 'Imap' and say 'ness' at the end.

My fucking life, cya.

Segma says, "32!"

Ligma Says, "And?"

Segma says, "Anding deez balls to your mouth."

Q. What's a bulimic's favorite movie?

A. The Purge.

Other girls want a guy who is 6ft, but does me being 6ft under count?

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".