Humor
Where do mathematicians go to die?
The symmetry.
Just because she weighed as much as two women... Doesn't mean you had a threesome.
What do you call an autistic person with a driver's license?
A LETHAL WEAPON!
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
my goofy ahh uncle
"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"
What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?
Both are sick and twisted.
Why don't women parachute naked?
That annoying whistling sound on the way down.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
Two priests walk into a store, and cops come up to them and say they’re looking for a child molester, and the priests both say, "I’ll do it!"
How do you blindfold a woman?
Put a windshield in front of them.
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"
He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."
Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
Yo momma is so ugly, she made my Happy Meal cry.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes.
Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?
Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.