Humor

Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?

He shot a Ginger.

What do you call lesbian sex during their period?

A blood transfusion.

I love all races, even the bad ones.

How do you blindfold a woman?

Put a windshield in front of them.

My only friend who actually cares: "Stop making suicide jokes, I’m really concerned!"

Me: Okay, I’ll cut it out.

What do dark humor and a person with scoliosis have in common?

Both are sick and twisted.

"You have to be more patient!" "Will it take a long time?"

Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?

What's the difference between a joke and the Twin Towers? People don't laugh at my jokes.

What's the difference between sex and mental illness?

Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.

What do you call an LGBTQ person getting grilled? LGBBQ.

What do you call a rich Chinese person? Cha-ching!

Ask Siri what rich North Koreans are there.

Siri: "I could not find anything for this question."

Today I got a lecture from my mother, and congratulated her. Why?

Because she managed not to damage me in a physical fashion.

I’ll make a joke about homeless people, but they just don’t work.

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?

Condoms.

I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."

She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."

I asked my Dad the other day, "At what age is it okay to have sex with girls?"

He replied, "When they leave school, son, they are legal."

Apparently, 3:15 p.m. is not what he meant.

Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.

Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...

Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...