Humor
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."
Why can't orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because it is a family company. 😂 😂
So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
Why do rapists and pedophiles never win a race?
Because they always like to come in a little behind.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
What do you call a Chinese person with no legs?
Lim Ping.
September 11th. #BringYourPlaneToWorkDay
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.