Humor
I was about to say an African joke, but it was too dry.
I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.
What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?
Concentration camp.
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's joking.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?
What is the Twin Towers' least favorite song? "I'm Still Standing."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Apaches.
Apaches who?
Apaches on your eye.
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.
What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? Snap-on tools.
Did anyone get my joke? It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant through.
I forgot the joke.
Why did the cantaloupe 🍈 jump into the pool?
It wanted to become a watermelon 🍉.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to take Snoop Dogg for a walk.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to put Vin Diesel in her gas tank.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to mop the floor with Taylor Swift.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to ring Kristen Bell.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to skim Dwayne Johnson across a lake.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.
Yo mama so fat, she wears Orion's belt!
What does a cow watch?
MooTube.
Little Timmy wanted to take a shower with his dad. His dad said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's dad said, "That's Mr. Wiggles." Timmy wanted to take a shower with his mom. Timmy's mom said, "Don't look down." Timmy looked down. Timmy said, "What's that?" Timmy's mom said, "That's my garden." Timmy's mom said, "Don't look up." Timmy looked up. Timmy said, "What are those?" Timmy's mom said, "Those are her headlights." Timmy wanted to sleep with his parents. His parents said, "Don't look under the covers." Timmy looked under the covers. Timmy yelled, "MOMMY, MOMMY, MR. WIGGLES IS ATTACKING YOUR GARDEN! TURN ON YOUR HEADLIGHTS!"
Q: What’s the difference between me and you?
A: I’m not wasting my time reading this joke.