Humor
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.
Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.
Wow, didn't know little Jhony jokes were so dark. Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about suicide, sex, and drugs? :-)
"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well, I don't really know if there actually are-- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes-- even chin jokes. :^))
And slice jokes!
What kind of "slices"?
Handy ones. ^_^
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
Why did the rape victim think it was Christmas?
Because her clothes were torn off like wrapping paper.
A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd-shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders.
As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, "I'll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, 'I don't know how you can make love to me with your type of body.' So I asked her, 'How about a little head?'"
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
Why do some men call their testicles "bells"? Because it's next to their "ding-dong."
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
What do you call a Muslim sleepover?
Osamas in Pajamas.
What did a terrorist say when New York didn't want his food?
"Here Comes The Airplane!"
What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?
Tropical depressions.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
Are you a toaster? Because I want to take a bath with you.
your mom
What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
Doctor: "You're as healthy as a horse!"
Jimmy: "That's great!"
Doctor: "A horse with cancer."